The Muppet Show quotes

- It's either this show or indigestion. I hope it's indigestion.

- Why?

- It'll get better in a little while.

- [throws a rubber ring] Here, catch!

- Waste of time. Nothing will save this show.

- It's too bad Gonzo's leaving this show.

- Yeah. I can think of some other people I'd rather see leave this show.

- Who?

- Me!

- What do you suppose they call that? A novelty act?

- Well, it wasn't too bad.

- Well, that's a novelty!

- So they blew up half the theater.

- At least they blew up the right half.

- (in unison) Theirs!

- I now realize television has one major advantage over a live stage show.

- What's that?

- A television you can turn off!

- You know, I love French singers.

- I love French fries.

- French fries? I don't get that.

- You didn't order any!

- You know, I'm really gonna enjoy tonight.

- You plan to like this show?

- No, I plan to watch television!

- Personally I don't care for puppets much. I don't find them believable.

- I don't believe you!

- I think that number raises a pertinent question.

- What's that?

- Why did they do it?

- I think honesty's always the best policy.

- You believe that?

- No, I was lying.

- Well, that was different.

- I should say so. So many of these songs are long and boring.

- Yes, they finally managed one short and boring!

- Does that mean they're getting better or worse?

- You know something? That was a sweet number.

- It sure was.

- You know something else?

- What?

- I hate sweet numbers!

- That number goes back a long way.

- Well, it didn't go back far enough – I could still see it!

- I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't watched it!

- Believe what?

- I don't know. I wasn't watching!

- What kind of show would you call that?