The Mighty Boosh quotes

I'll take you out for a meal with Mr and Mrs. Pain. Order up some violent quiche.

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BBoth

Captain Cabinets,

Trapped in cabinets.

Can he get out?

Will he get out?

Course he will.

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The antipodian, masheeun, The Killeroo!

What's all that about, I didn't know anything about that.

Come on, it's just hype, you'll get the same treatment.

Will I?

Wait 'till you hear your introduction, come on [reassuring Howard]

Aaaaand fighting the Killeroo: Howard Mooooooon [silence in the crowd]

[under breath] Former male prostitute...

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Sit down. Now, that was possibly the weakest start to a boxing match ever. But don't worry alright?

Dance around a bit, bob and weave O.K? And keep him at bay with your jab alright? Just punch him in the snout alright? Howard, Howard?

Have you come about the croutons?

Just punch the big mouse. [inserts gum shield into Howard's mouth]

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[Recollections and flashbacks flashing on screen] All the images, what do they mean? How do you Kill-A-Roo?

AAustralian

His balls mate, grab his flamin' balls.

Oh right.

AAustralian

[shakes head] Christ you're thick.

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Bob Fossil

[Addressing children] Why are you people so small? I can rest my drinks on your heads.

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Sometimes I wish I could take all my skin off and writhe about.

GMrs. Gideon

That's disgusting.

No, it's a metaphor.

GMrs Gideon

Still disgusting.

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I'd like to think that I will be remembered many years after my own death.

What for?

For the things I say and do.

The things you say? Like what, "Have you seen my light blue trousers?", "Can I have a crisp?"

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Your head's a bit like a man's thigh.

What? There's such a thing as having too much going on in your face you know?

All a bit too busy. All the features, jostling for position, yeah? The eyes screaming out?

The nose? Very visually noisy, your face.

Visually noisy?

Yeah, it's like a brass band under a wig. Marching towards me every day.

Look at your face, ambient, pure ambience, it's like The Orb's third album.

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Having fun are you? Gonna do a portrait are you?

Yeah, I might have a go at her nude.

[Grabs Vince by the neck] Let me tell you something, O.K? You go near her with a paint brush,

I'll come at you like a mighty bazooka. I love that lady. Right?

Listen, start any of that funny business?

Yeah or else?

You touch me, Bollo'll rinse you out like a hot flannel.

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Dixon Bainbridge

Make something up you prick, tell them he got eaten by the python.

The who?

Dixon Bainbridge

The windy man, the long mover.

Oh yeah...

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...not as outlandish as they would have been if you had not you spent half the budget on your hair.

My hair's an intrinsic ingredient to this show. Do you mind?

Do you really need fifteen people working on it at any one point.

At least. Two for fringe. One for feathering. One for height. Circumference?

Circumference?

Yeah hair circumference, there's a lot to think about with hair.

If, if my barnet don't look right, people get furious, they tune out immediately.

I think you underestimate the power of my acting to hold a crowd.

I don't think so.

I don't need a funny little hair-do for that. I do my own hair.

The council does your hair.

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ADApe of Death

Howard Moon, you are to be thrown into the pit of eternal fire for heinous crimes.

But Bollo lead a clean life?

ADApe of Death

Yeah, but you bummed that fox.

That's just a rumour.

ADApe of Death

No smoke without fire...which, incidentally, you'll be seeing quite a bit of from here in on!

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Just imagine the headlines; "Howard Moon, colon, Explorer." Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?