I want everyone to mind their P's and Q's. That means NO effin' and Jeffin'.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Pass me the first of his last words. Come on.
Get off, gettin' them in the right order.
We're not playing scrabble, just come on, bring it on.
NPNorth Pole Native
That is an interesting story, but now we must eat. You must dine with us and try the local delicacy. [Other native vomits on a plate]
Yeah, not actually that hungry.
NPNorth Pole Native
We will be very offended if you do not eat with us.
Suppose I could try a little bit. [Takes a spoon full and eats some vomit] Mmmm.
NPNorth Pole Native
Ah here comes the food now, sandwiches my favourite. Somebody clear this sick away.
Listen here you Icey bastard, let's set some ground rules.
TTommy
There are only two kinds of men who venture into the jungle at this time of night: a fool or an idiot.
Who are you?
RRudi
I go by many names.
Well, what are they, then?
RRudi
I'm getting round to that in my own good mystical time.
Tommy was a dreamer. We all dream ... but do we really dream?
Yeah. We do.
Yeah, but do we really dream?
Yeah, we do. What's your point?
You've got to accept it, Howard. We all die.
We all die, but do we really die?
What is that?
Something Tommy taught me. Never stop questioning the nature of reality.
I know you're questioning the nature of reality, but are you really questioning it?
Now you're getting it.
I am getting it ... but am I really getting it?
That's enough now.
It is enough, but is it really enough?
[Singing] ...where are you now Tommy.
He's dead.
He's not dead.
He is dead, he fell in the ocelot pit everyone knows that.
They never found his body?
They never found his body? They munched him down like an old Twix.
[Rubs nipple] What do you know about Tommy, Tommy's dead.
They never found Tommy's body, so under zoo regulation 409 subsection C, he's technically still the owner of the zoo and you can't sell it. Thanks.
Oh yeah, well let me show you something, this is a contract, it said that Tommy owned the zoo, but in the event of his disappearance, after ten years, it reverts back to Bainbridge. Suck on that subsection.
Hey Naboo. How are you? I can't believe Bainbridge is selling the zoo.
He's a ballbag.
What you gonna do, you'll probably be alright won't you, you're a shaman, it's pretty specialist job.
I might transform myself into a mighty hawk.
Into what?
[Whispers] Mighty hawk.
WOW
Either that or I'll work in Dixon's, I haven't decided.
Do you remember when that llama got out? He went awol, he went crazy. Started HOOFIN' the public. Do you remember? Oh he was out there HOOFIN' doctors HOOFIN' Vicars, he got in the gift shop, put a false moustache on, a little girl came in and went "can I have a pencil top" HOOOOF! Haha, hoofed her out the shop. No one could get near that llama, but you Howard. You got off with it...
...Yeah, it's one of the few ways to calm a llama down.
TTommy
Cheese is a kind of meat
A tasty yellow beef
I milk it from my teat
But I try to be discrete.
Oh cheese.
Oh cheese.
You're in for a Hubba-Bubba nightmare.
SMSimon McFarnaby
[Has a brown layer of skin around his head making him look like a conker]
I've got something lined up for the Autumn
I bet you have...
SMSimon McFarnaby
Hmm?...
So, er... just wanna say that erm it's great to have you on the show, great to be working with you. I'm really really looking forward to working with you and just working and being with you and things.
SMSimon McFarnaby
Thanks, well I'll go and get warmed up.
Alright, O.K
Why don't you go and put your head in some vinegar...?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mighty Boosh pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.