Wendy quotes from The Middleman

Wendy

Hello, nutjob. Party of one.

Wendy

Get a hold of yourself man. What's easier to believe: a gorilla holding a gun or a big hairy guy doing a drive by?

Wendy

Thank you for calling A.N.D. Laboratories, re-scrambling your DNA, how may I direct your call?

Wendy

Uh, the Boy Scouts called. They want their family counseling merit badge back.

Wendy

But Casper's such a friendly guy.

Wendy

Oh, I'm a gonna get my Buffy on.

Wendy

Ida. It's me, the toker. Hophead McStoney. Pick up!

The Middleman

Special Agent Watson, slacking off the dress code, I see.

Wendy

Oh, I don't do dress code after sundown.

The Middleman

It's bad apples like you that put Mr. Hoover in a dress.

The Middleman

You know how in comic books there's all kinds of mad scientists and aliens and androids and monsters, and all of them either want to destroy or take over the world?

Wendy

In comic books, sure.

The Middleman

Well it really does work like that.

Wendy

Get out.

The Middleman

You already forgot what you saw?

Wendy

And you're the superhero?

The Middleman

I never wear tights.

Wendy

I'm crushed.

Wendy

...and [rule] three, you don't date my roommate. Got it?

The Middleman

That's just mean. I'm single. I'm eligible!

Wendy

Just drive.

The Middleman

Are you ashamed of me?

The Middleman

(about Wendy's worries for Lacey) I can see this development is upsetting, but I must remind you to...

Wendy

(interrupting) ... Delay any emotional reaction until we've safely delivered the Earth from peril. I got it without the lecture

The Middleman

Caffeine is a drug, Dubbie.

Wendy

I'm holding a molecular stun cannon.

Wendy

Uh, Sensei Ping. Like an unborn lotus festering in the mud waiting to blossom, I come to you with humble greetings to beseech your guidance, most awesome...

(laughs) Did The Middleman tell you to recite the most hallowed verse of greetings to Sensei Ping?

Wendy

Uh, yes.

He is such a comedian. You know, most of us masters of the martial arts are actually very laid back.

Wendy

Really?

No! (slaps her)

Wendy

Uh, why is my car being surrounded by a bunch of lucha libre wrestlers?

That is a very long story for another day, my impudent young weasel.

Wendy

Shouldn't it be "Middleperson" or "Middlewoman"?

The Middleman

We did have a Middleboy once.

Wendy

What does that make me, the "Middlegirl"?