The Middleman quotes from The Middleman

The Middleman

What makes more sense? That a monster trashed a science lab or that a gas main exploded? If I hadn't planted your Zippo some pink skin normal would have still come up with a rational explanation. People want to believe reality's normal. The ones who don't are freaks and no one believes them anyway.

The Middleman

Well la-di-da, Dubbie. You must be mistaking the Clan of the Pointed Stick for one of the rational societies of paranoid celibate martial artists.

The Middleman

Now, let’s try to get there before that little girl sucks the band through a hole... (noticing Wendy's horrified expression) ...in space.

The Middleman

I record a Code 47 for you during every mission. I'm as serious as a German film festival.

The Middleman

(pre-recorded) Dubbie, if you're seeing this, I have perished in the Underworld. Hopefully, we've stopped a thousand years of fire. If not, you might want look into getting an asbestos umbrella. Or a really good insurance policy. (edit)

The Middleman

(pre-recorded) Dubbie, if you're seeing this, we were unable to stop Varsity Fanclub, the Clotharian rebel fleet opened up a warphole, and their armada has reduced the planet Earth to a smoking cinder. I'm not sure how you managed to survive, but "Good for you!"

The Middleman

Oh, phooey. (repeated line)

The Middleman

Profanity cheapens the soul and weakens the mind. (Episode 1)

The Middleman

Let's kick the tires and light the fires. (Episode 1)

The Middleman

I'm as serious as a Hefty bag full of Rottweilers. (Episode 2)

The Middleman

Katy bar the door! (Episode 2)

The Middleman

Grapes of Wrath, Dubbie, do you have any idea how much of the Earth is made up of...earth?! (Episode 2)

The Middleman

Hands Across America! (Episode 2)

The Middleman

Sands of Zanzibar! (Episode 2)

The Middleman

Guns of Navaronne! (Episode 2)

The Middleman

What the monkey! (Episode 3)