Lacey quotes from The Middleman

Lacey

What do you do for a living?

The Middleman

We are international consultants that solve exotic problems for corporations, individuals and even governments. Obviously our clients often prefer anonymity.

Lacey

That's so clear... concise.

Wendy

I just wish I wasn't having such a difficult time of this.

Lacey

Sex, waffles and video games? What am I missing?

Wendy

Can you keep a secret?

Lacey

Have I told anybody about that thing with the blueberry pudding pops and the elliptical machine?

Lacey

You got to stop looking for the emotional rip-cord, Dub-Dub, or you're going to find out that your parachute is really a backpack.

Wendy

What's that even mean?

Lacey

Look, I don't care what you say, you are going to that interview and I'm driving you there.

Tyler

Lacey, I'm a musician.

Lacey

And this is like Bono offering you a job.

Noser

Bono, Buddha and the Wizard of Oz.

Noser

If you saved his life using kung fu, he owes you what the Chinese sifus, the Japanese sensei, and the Jedi Knights refer to as a "life debt".

Lacey

Every kung fu movie ever made can't be wrong.

Noser

In terms the common man can understand: you own his ass.

The Middleman

Son of a monkey's uncle, Wendy Watson, which part of "this is an emergency" didn't you get?

Lacey

Wendy, why is your boss standing outside our door wearing a hazmat suit?

Lacey

Put this on.

Tyler

That's the tie that Wendy and I hang on the stairs when we're…

Lacey

Like I don't know.