TV show quotes
You think you're so mysterious. I know what you're doing in there.
Oh, really? What?
You're making a list, trying to figure out who it is that you've met that's Red John.
Not just met, shaken hands with.
How many people are on that list, anyway?
A lot.
Ladies and gentlemen, ten years ago, Teresa Lisbon left the San Francisco Police Department to join the California Bureau of Investigation. Today she is without doubt the rootinest, tootinest, sharp-shootinest cop in the whole state of California. Happy anniversary, boss.
Good morning. Thank you for the party, it was very thoughtful.
You're welcome.
But I'm never gonna forgive you for that stripper.
How was the rest of the party?
Torture. Like it can't happen ever ever again.
Ten years, huh?
More, actually. One year with you counts as two.
So what did I do last night? Come on. I'm dying here.
You got up on the table and sang Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh. I do a pretty good Freddie Mercury. That's not so embarrassing.
Maybe not for you.
We know that Red John was at Elliston Farm in 1988. That is a huge leap forward, Lisbon. Huge.
How so?
I recalled all the names of the 2,164 people that I met and shook hands with since Red John murdered my family. I might have missed one or two, but not many. 807 of those names were women. And Red John's probably not a woman. Another 949 were men that I had brief encounters with that I never saw or heard from again. That leaves 408 names. And Elliston Farm will exclude a whole bunch more. I'm getting close, Lisbon. I'm getting very close.
Tell me some of the names. There's gotta be some that are at the top of the list.
Sure. There's some interesting names.
Well, tell me.
I love playing with you, Gale. I can read you like a kids' book.
Yeah, yeah. Just pick up your chips.
Goodnight, Moon.
There you are.
We should come by sometime when there's not a corpse here to meet us.
See? I know how to play poker.
Of course you do.
You play the man, not the cards. I know the odds, I know myself.
You know people, you know how to control them. Not that you always care.
What does that mean?
Well, you win more flies with honey than with vinegar, but you use vinegar anyway.
Is this about Lisbon?
You're very fond of the fake tell, aren't you? Before you bet you look away and you breath out very slowly, like you're trying to calm yourself.
Yes.
Well, you have a tell inside the fake tell. When you're bluffing, the breathing is audible.
The hell it is. I-I control myself.
You get yourself a good hand and puff away like that, Manchester will for sure think you're bluffing. Trust me.
How can you like Triceratops more than [in a deep voice] T. Rex?
T. Rex are losers. Little arms. It's a big chicken with teeth.
Yeah, and Triceratops is basically a pig with horns.
And a shield on its head. Beats a giant chicken any day of the week.
Ha ha, in your dreams. What did Jane want?
He wants us back at the museum.
What are we gonna do?
Museum heist.
Why?
I stopped asking questions a long time ago. Come on.
[Rigsby and Cho exit the elevator]
...And some scientists think the T. Rex could run up to 45 miles an hour. That's apex predator. You know what that means?
Yes.
That means they're top of the food chain. They eat everything.
So?
So... T. Rex beats Triceratops. I win.
You went home last night and Googled dinosaurs, didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
You have no life. I win.
[Rigsby sets down a cup of coffee on Van Pelt's desk]
I owe her from yesterday.
She's on her way to the airport.
Oh. Yeah, for that White Hat thing. I thought there was no money for that.
Lisbon fixed it.
Oh. Would have been nice to say good-bye.
Yeah, well, cowards don't get to say good-bye when they want.
Cowa— wow. Where'd that come from? You calling me a coward?
Yep.
How so?
How long have you been pretending you're not in love with Van Pelt?
Who says I'm in love with Van Pelt? I was once, a long time ago, but not anymore. We're just... We're just... good friends.
You're a coward and terrible liar. [walks away]
Uh, says you. "Coward." What does he know about relationships? [shouting after Cho] Yeah, well, you date pregnant hookers and your— your dinosaur eats grass!
Morning.
Good morning! We're gonna be short-staffed for a while. Van Pelt's off to L.A. Thank you.
Adult education's a beautiful thing. Uh, speaking of which, uh... I've upset the ecosystem of the poker game.
I think you've been spending too much time at the museum. "Upset the ecosystem"?
Bertram's now a better poker player because of me. The ecosystem has changed. You need to adapt or die.
Who says I need the help?
Don't try to razzle dazzle me. Money talks.
What do we use for stakes? You can't play poker without stakes.
Oh, I have that covered. [lining up dinosaur fruit snacks on the table] Herbivores are worth one, carnivores are worth five.
Okay.
Deal.
What do you got?
All in.
You're bluffing. I call.
Really?
[Jane displays his hand, a pair of aces]
Okay, are you cheating?
No.
Wha—
I'm gonna smoke you.
How does one person live in a house this big?
Uh, let me see. By being very rich.
That's not what I meant.
Ah, you mean morally. Well, we've been called in, so it's likely that whoever lived here paid a hefty price in the end.
This place gives me the creeps.
Normally I'd be tempted to mock your superstition, but in this case I'm inclined to agree.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mentalist pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
