[Talking about Felicia Scott]
Whoo. She was some woman. Make the mighty agent Lisbon blush like a school girl.
Please, I did not.
S1 E19A Dozen Red Roses
Oh, Mitch, I thought we'd worked through your doormat issues. [To Lisbon] Tell Cho to squeeze him a little, he knows things.
MMitch
No, I don't.
Sure you do, Mitch.
You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.
What is it that first attracted you to your husband? Not his looks.
FSFelicia Scott
Oh, really?
Yeah, really. He's not your type.
FSFelicia Scott
And what is my type?
Oh, ah, sporty bad boys with a hidden masochistic streak.
FSFelicia Scott
Aha.
Not too bright.
FSFelicia Scott
Not even close.
No, that was a bull's eye.
What do you think?
Oh, he's lying. They had an argument. You go out to celebrate with the man that financed your movie and only pay half the dinner bill?
Do you own a gun, Gabriel?
GFGabriel Fanning
No. I like guns, but I'm afraid of blowing my own head off.
[After Jane lets go of two street performers without Cho's authorizatio])
Nice. I could arrest you for that.
You'll never take me alive, copper.
Seriously.
Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?
S1 E20Red Sauce
Yeah, you guys go find out. I'll find the couch. [Stands up and turns around] Oh, there it is.
I'm not saying you knew about the affair, I'm just saying that if you did, you'd be our prime suspect. Funny when your best defense is your apparent lack of the most basic detective skills.
MEMarshal Exley
You little son of a bitch.
Easy.
I'm sorry. I'm just thinking aloud. No offense.
MEMarshal Exley
Yeah, right. No offense.
None taken.
[Talking about the whereabouts of a mafioso Sonny Battaglia]
Palm Desert right here in California?
No.
Palm Desert's not in California?
No, you can't sneak off and talk to Sonny Battaglia.
Oh, I thought you meant Palm Desert wasn't in California. It is in California, right?
Thanks for your time, Mr. Battaglia. See you later.
SBSonny Battaglia
Hey, wait a minute. I'm not finished talking with you yet.
I'm finished talking with you.
SBSonny Battaglia
What are you, Al Pacino all of a sudden? People don't act that way with me.
I do when there's witnesses around.
SBSonny Battaglia
What are we gonna do with this guy? He's got a screw loose.
You think you have a certain charm about you, and you do, but you live by oppression. In reality you're just a greedy, twisted little sadist.
SBSonny Battaglia
Hey, screw you blondie. You're lucky you helped me beat Arnold Palmer here or I'd plug you right now. To hell with the witnesses.
[Jane just waves at him]
What did you learn?
She's scared. She's of Italian descent. She bites her nails. She doesn't like pets or pineapple.
Useful stuff.
KKid
Yeah, screw the cops.
Even for a midget villain like yourself, that's an untenable position. Every modern society has some kind of police force. It's like saying, screw the public transport system.
Teenagers. I hate questioning teenagers. It's like talking to mud.
You need some love in your heart.
Oh, is that my problem.
Yeah, it is.
Any money go missing lately?
POPlayland owner
Nope. And I keep tabs, trust me.
And why should we trust you?
POPlayland owner
It's just a phrase, like "you know".
What do I know?
POPlayland owner
No. You don't know anything I'm saying it's just a thing to say.
Oh, it's a figure of speech.
POPlayland owner
Right.
So we shouldn't trust you, really.
POPlayland owner
Yeah. No, you should.
[Jane has guessed what Rigsby and Van Pelt got Lisbon for her birthday]
Okay, two for two. How about mine?
Cho. [Cho hands Lisbon a present and Jane covers his eyes]
That's sweet, thank you.
I got it.
Okay. [Opens the present] Okay, what is it?
It's a mid- to high- end bottle of... wine-- aah, no, no, no. Champagne.
Yes.
Yup, there I go. [whispering to Cho] Re-gift?
It's a really good bottle. I don't drink it.
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