Kyon quotes from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Haruhi Suzumiya

Does anyone have plans next week for Christmas Eve?

Kyon

[Thinking] I freaking knew it.

Haruhi

I'm pretty sure you've got nothing going on, right Kyon? We all know you don't have much of a social life and I'm only asking because I didn't want you to feel like a loser.

Kyon

Yeah? Well what if I did have something going on? Tell me what you're planning first.

Haruhi

You're free, I knew it! [Turns to Koizumi] How about you, Koizumi? I bet you got a date with a girlfriend, don't ya?

Itsuki Koizumi

[Sighs] It would be wonderful if that were indeed the case, however, believe it or not, my schedule prior to Christmas Eve is completely open and flexible at present. To tell the truth, I was getting a little worried about how I was going to pass the time.

Kyon

[Thinking] Liar. You made yourself free on purpose. Admit it!

Haruhi

Well, now you don't have to worry about it! Besides, this'll be way better. [Turns to Mikuru] How about you Mikuru? You've probably got plans, too! Like maybe someone asked you to watch that moment when rain turns to snow in the dead of night?

Kyon

[Thinking] Suddenly, she's from the Shōwa era.

Mikuru Asahina

Actually, I don't have anything planned next week. [Confused] Dead of night?

Kyon

[Thinking] You could go out with me, Miss Asahina!

Haruhi

[Turns to Yuki] Yuki?

Yuki Nagato

Nothing.

Haruhi

Awesome!

Kyon

[Thinking] Whoa!

Haruhi

Okay, then! It's settled! [Uncaps a marker and writes "SOS Brigade Christmas Party"] Since nobody has plans for next week, we're gonna throw an SOS Brigade Christmas party! As usual, if there are any objections, you can file them after the event and I promise I'll take them into consideration!

Kyon

[Thinking] And, as usual, she's doing whatever she wants. She did ask everyone if they had plans, though. I guess she's making a little progress.

Kyon

What did you say before?

Taniguchi

I said I didn't underst-[Kyon interrupts]

Kyon

Not that.

Taniguchi

Oh, Haruhi Suzumiya? She was the gonzo girl of east junior high. The two of us were in the same class in middle school. I didn't know you guys knew each other.

Kyon

You slimy octopus.

Taniguchi

Who are you calling an octopus? If i'm an octopus you're a dried up old squid!

Kyon

[Pushes Taniguchi into a desk] You know Haruhi, you really know who she is?

Taniguchi

Of course I know her. Even after 50 years you don't forget someone like her. All the kids who went to east junior high know that crazy chick. Let me go man what the hell.

Kyon

Where is she? Where the hell did Haruhi go.