I haven't been this mad at anybody since…1944. Yeah…1944. That was the last time I let it all out.
Did anything – much - happen?
Huh? Oh. I captured a town in Germany.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Why are you smiling at me?
Because you just reaffirmed my faith in human nature.
You mean what I did wasn't rotten?
Oh, no, that was rotten all right. It's just nice to know that everyone's rotten. Up to now, I thought you were one of the few holdouts.
[to Mary and Rhoda] I thought I'd see how you swingin' singles spend your evenings!
They're not much different than yours. We sit around at night wondering what it'd be like to have a happy marriage.
When will Edie be back from this reducing place?
Oh, she was pretty mad. She ought to be gone for about eight to ten pounds.
[to Rhoda who is having doubts about decorating Lou's living room] You want a challenge, don't you?
Sure, Mary, I want a challenge. I just get the feeling that this room might win.
He had his arm around her and everything was very cozy. Then he saw us, he pushed her away and started treating her like a stranger.
I know that feeling. I once had a date do that to me when I ordered steak.
Ted has been in love ever since he was a baby and saw his reflection in the bathwater.
[refuting the notion that the governor's aide was interested in her] He...didn't even get my name.
Well, he got mine. I took off my name tag and pinned it to his jacket.
Happy Birthday, Ted. [hands him a gift]
[shakes it] I'll bet it's a book. [opens it] It is a book. [Reads aloud] Dick and Jane Visit a Farm.
I guess I'm what you'd call a male chauvinist pig.
She, uh, she wasn't right.
I'm glad we're communicating.
What was wrong with her?
Well, for one thing, when she walked out of here, I didn't watch her.
Oh. You mean, uh… she-she didn't have any, uh-- [Mary motions at her backside]
Right. No caboose whatsover.
Well, if that is the case, Mr. Grant, why have I been wasting my time for the last two days screening them for skills? I mean, why don't I just march them in here in bathing suits?
[Lou chuckles]
How many more applicants are there?
Uh, two. Uh, the first is Doreen Skinner. Her skills are excellent, and she seems to measure up, caboose-wise.
Good. Back her in here.
[about her ride home in a cab] The driver was Murray.
Murray? My Murray?
Yeah, from the newsroom.
That's impossible. Murray's teaching at night.
Yeah? Well, tell him the ashtrays are full in his classroom.
Murray is working nights driving a cab to earn extra money.
Why didn't he just come and tell me he needed more money? Then I could have told him why I can't give it to him.
You know, Rhoda, you could get yourself much sicker going out tonight.
Yeah...
Did you tell your date you have a temperature?
I would have, Mare. However, I make it a rule never to discuss flu symptoms with a six-foot-one Yale grad with dark, curly hair.
You could give him your cold.
Uh-huh. [smiling] If I play my cards right!
[disdainfully eying an unkempt Rhoda, who is standing in Mary's doorway in her robe] Yes, well...uh...I always said looks aren't important when you have good clothing sense.
Phyllis, I'd like to tell you something.
What?
It is so hard for me to tell you this.
What is it, Rhoda? You can tell me.
[leans over and kisses Phyllis on the cheek] I'm extremely contagious.
[about his antacid pills] They're not for my personal use. I never have any stomach trouble myself.
No, but you're a carrier, Ted.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mary Tyler Moore Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.