Believe it or not, I too once had a feeling of inadequacy.
Oh, no. We're not going to hear about your honeymoon again, are we?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[on air] I've just been handed a bulletin. [reading in announcer's voice] You've got something between your teeth.
[about her mother] I think she's holding a grudge because I didn't go into the profession she wanted.
What's that?
A housewife.
IIda
As a matter of fact, I'm not wearing a bra.
Ma! Go upstairs and put some clothes on!
IIda
What's the matter, you can't handle somebody who's a little 'with it?'
You're not with it. You're without it. Now go upstairs and get it.
[looking at an advertisement of Hal in a magazine] That's the first time I've ever seen my date in his underwear before we went out.
[after a date with Hal Baxter] I made the mistake of asking him which was his bad side. You know, we looked for it for ten minutes. We couldn't find it. We found mine right away, though. It's the front.
I went to my reunion a couple of months ago. Famous Announcers School.
That's a correspondence course. Where did they have the reunion, in a mailbox?
EEstelle
Mary Richards. It's still Mary Richards, isn't it?
Yes, it's still Mary, too.
EEstelle
So you've never been married, Mary?
No, Estelle, I haven't.
EEstelle
I've been married twice.
She liked it so much the first time.
Mr. Grant, you're gonna be just fine, just fine. Go in there and be natural. And remember to smile.
You can't have both things, Mary.
I saw you do the news, Lou. You were terrible.
I know, but that's because I made a mistake.
What's that, Lou?
I started drinking after the show.
[about the new anchorman] He's already one up on Ted. He's walking and talking at the same time.
[Ted's] contract calls for him to be a newsman. He violates his contract every time he opens his mouth.
How come you're not watching that documentary on TV? It's on how much fun us single swingers are having.
How come you're not watching it?
I didn't want to watch it alone. It's too depressing.
Rhoda, why are you putting strange men in my address book?
He's not a strange man. He's the guy I invited to that party you gave as my date, and he showed up with his wife.
Oh, yes. I remember her. Nancy.
I remember him. Armond.
It still doesn't explain why you wrote him in my address book and not yours.
I don't have one. I've been getting by for years on the back of a cocktail napkin.
You like my new jacket, Lou?
No, I don't like your new jacket! At this moment, I don't like your face, your voice, your fingernails, your name! Waddya say to that?
[looks slightly troubled] Would you like it better in green?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mary Tyler Moore Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.