The Legend of Vox Machina quotes

Pike

(greeting Allura) Allura fucking Vysoren!

Not my middle name, but I'm pleased to see you as well.

Scanlan

♪ It's cold outside ♪

♪ As the days go by ♪

♪ You're in my cold and hopeless heart tonight ♪

Scanlan

♪ Mythcarver, show me... something good... ♪

In my millennia of existence this is the wisest sage I've ever known.

The fuck?!

Vax'ildan

Oh my... (throws the book to Vex)

Vex'ahlia

(notices a drawing of her with big bosoms)

Unless you like it.

Vex'ahlia

(notices Keyleth bondage drawing and Percy with 3 penises with his companion's heads) The likenesses aren't bad.

Percy

Why do I have three peni?

Art is subjective.

Keyleth

The plants in this realm are real assholes!

Percy

(to Garmelie) I'm going to guess you had something to do with this.

Well, you guess wrong. Garmelie was merely the traveler on this journey.

This decree promises safe passage, but once you leave our walls, you're on your own.

Percy

Hmm. You'll need to amend one name, though. It's Lady Vex'ahlia.

“Lady"?

Percy

Lady Vex'ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt. So, good sir, despite your relationship, do watch your manners towards a noble.

Be honest. Do I look like I come from nobility?

Percy

It's easy to act noble. Just be a bit of a shit and wear what everyone else is wearing. I've known many people with money and titles, and they are definitely not worth you.

I can fix you. Make you whole again. And all I need from you... is your heart.

Vex'ahlia

My heart is someone else's.

Travel safe, friends. Stay alive.

Grog

Hitting hard and being big don't make you strong. It's standing up for the little folk. That's what makes me different from them.

Grog

(to Kevdak) You think history will remember you? I'm told a dragon made the mighty Kevdak, wielder of the Titanstone Knuckles, bend the knee. So tell me, Uncle, do you still have your shriveled nutsack, or did you give that to the dragon, too?

(after pinning Grog to the ground and mercilessly beating him) What made you think you could best me?

Grog

(weakly) F-friends...

(glares and raises his fist) What was that?

Grog

My strength... comes from my friends.

Well too bad, Grog. They couldn't save you.

Grog

Yeah, but the thing is (spits out some blood) I got more. Vox Machina... FUCK! SHIT! UP!

At dawn, we shall whet our blades against the hide of a dragon!

Percy

Uh, we might need a little more time than that. My contraptions tend to have a lot of gears and moving bits...

Grog

And there's the drinking. We need more time for drinking.

At noon, we shall whet our blades!

Grog

At dawn, we plan!