Percy quotes from The Legend of Vox Machina

Percy

(to Anders) We trusted you. You were our teacher! We would have done anything you asked, and you betrayed us when we needed you most. You're the face I saw when murder entered my heart.

Percy

(to Anna Ripley) At the moment, you are the luckiest person in Whitestone, because you're at the bottom of my list.

(last words) I will sunder your bones!

Vex'ahlia

Look who's nice and low.

Grog

(sneers) I would like to... (roaring) RAGE!!!!! (rushes towards Brimscythe and slices his head in half with a blow from his axe, killing the dragon) (groans) Is he dead?

Keyleth

(chuckles softly) We did that! We did that, right?

Percy

It seems being a bunch of assholes has its merits.

Interestingly enough, we're not originally from Whitestone.

Percy

Of course you're not.

Delilah

Tell me, have you heard how we became caretakers of Whitestone? The official story is that city was administered by the de Rolo family until they succumbed to a rare disease. But I'm afraid the truth is, we concocted that tale to protect their legacy. The sad reality is that the de Rolos abdicated. They grew bored of ruling, and after their children raided the treasury, they abandoned their people to rot.

Percy

LIARS!!!

Keyleth

Didn't know about your past. But I guess none of us ever share that kind of stuff, huh? I may never see my family again.

Percy

What?

Keyleth

Yeah. My Aramenté. I don't get to go home until I complete it and prove myself worthy. Which might not happen, so...

Percy

I didn't know that.

Keyleth

I'm just saying, I know you think you're alone. That we don't know what you're going through. But you don't have to be.

Percy

I appreciate that, Keyleth, truly. And for the record, I think you're damn worthy. But there's a world of difference between your struggle and mine. Whether you succeed or fail, your family is still alive.

(to the masked Percy) What are you supposed to be, freak?

Percy

I am vengeance for the de Rolos.

(laughs) The de Rolos? Now that takes me back. Some folks you kill 'cause you're ordered to. Them, I killed 'cause I wanted to.

Percy

Let me say, you were the one I was least looking forward to.

Scanlan

♪ The landing's gonna be a bit rough. ♪ ♪ I'll save our asses with some butt stuff. ♪

Percy

Before I met you, I would have found this very upsetting.

Vax'ildan

Oh my... (throws the book to Vex)

Vex'ahlia

(notices a drawing of her with big bosoms)

Unless you like it.

Vex'ahlia

(notices Keyleth bondage drawing and Percy with 3 penises with his companion's heads) The likenesses aren't bad.

Percy

Why do I have three peni?

Art is subjective.

Percy

(to Garmelie) I'm going to guess you had something to do with this.

Well, you guess wrong. Garmelie was merely the traveler on this journey.

This decree promises safe passage, but once you leave our walls, you're on your own.

Percy

Hmm. You'll need to amend one name, though. It's Lady Vex'ahlia.

“Lady"?

Percy

Lady Vex'ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt. So, good sir, despite your relationship, do watch your manners towards a noble.

Be honest. Do I look like I come from nobility?

Percy

It's easy to act noble. Just be a bit of a shit and wear what everyone else is wearing. I've known many people with money and titles, and they are definitely not worth you.

At dawn, we shall whet our blades against the hide of a dragon!

Percy

Uh, we might need a little more time than that. My contraptions tend to have a lot of gears and moving bits...

Grog

And there's the drinking. We need more time for drinking.

At noon, we shall whet our blades!

Grog

At dawn, we plan!

Do you have any final words before you join my service?

Percy

I do, but the ones I would want to hear them are absent.

Your concerns are appreciated, brother, but I've been running this city for quite some time now. Gilmore has managed to make his cloaking spell more or less permanent, Yennen tells me this year's Harvest Festival will be well-attended [Percy's attention is taken by the sight of Vex], and the ranks of the Pale Guard are up to pre-Briarwood levels. I assure you, we'll be fine.

Percy

Mmmhmm...

[notices Percy's attention on Vex and not her] In fact, while you're gone, perhaps I'll cut down the Sun Tree and build an extravagant canoe.

Percy

[still distracted] Right, sounds lovely.

[approaches them] Big day tomorrow. Everything all right?

Percy

Uh...Yes, o-of course. Uh, we were just discussing, uh...

Canoes.

I see. [to Percy, who starts to blush] Well, if you want to update me on the, um, "canoe" situation, I'll be up for a bit. [Walks off, Percy watching her, still with a light blush. Cassandra notices]

You're smitten.

Percy

So what if I am? [adjusts his glasses] It's not like I can act on it.

Brother, women are not some mysterious code. When one invites you to her room, you go. [turns Percy and pushes him in the direction of Vex]