Scanlan quotes from The Legend of Vox Machina

Scanlan

(playing his lute and singing for the tavern keeper's daughter) La, da, da. La, da, da, my lady's rose I will pluck. My love, it's time for us to fu— [Percy is then thrown across the building to their room] For goodness' sakes. Percy, the hell, man? If you want to join in, you got to ask first.

Scanlan

♪ Mythcarver, show me... something good... ♪

Scanlan

I'm starting to think that the worst things in life come from fear, but... maybe the best things do, too. You don't get to choose your part in the play, but a true performer commits anyway.

Scanlan

(to Umbrasyl) You leave when Scanlan Shorthalt tells you to leave.

Scanlan

(singing to the council) Brave warriors are we and far more clever than a fox. They'll tell tale of our exploits in the Legend Of Vox Machina!

Keyleth

(vomits)

Scanlan

(like Elvis) Uh, thank you very much.

Scanlan

Uh. it's says Pyramid, Spirits of the De,ad and right here in tiny letters, it says (flips off Vax) ah-fuck you, Vax.

Vax'ildan

Oh, lovely. Care to translate this? (returns a double middle finger)

Pike

CAN YOU TWO STOP?

Grog

For the ale!

Scanlan

"Scanlan the Revolutionary" has a nice ring to it. Ooh! I could get a beret!

I'm afraid this performance is over. You're weak. You're small. And in this world, that means you lose.

Scanlan

Wait, wait, wait. It's true. I'm all talk. Everyone thinks I'm a joke. But the brothels have taught me one thing: size doesn't matter. It's how you use it.

Scanlan

♪ The landing's gonna be a bit rough. ♪ ♪ I'll save our asses with some butt stuff. ♪

Percy

Before I met you, I would have found this very upsetting.

Scanlan

♪ It's cold outside ♪

♪ As the days go by ♪

♪ You're in my cold and hopeless heart tonight ♪

Scanlan

(to Kaylie as they enter a room) And then, I disguised us all as cows! (he and Kaylie laugh) I know. Brilliant, right?

Tell me, Scanlan Shorthalt, how did you, of all people, find yourself overthrowing tyrants and slaying dragons?

Scanlan

(smacks lips as he lays in the bed wearing his undies) Ah, you know, I mean, the life of an entertainer brings endless adventure, freedom, and exploration.

Ooh, that sounds fun. But do you know what's even more fun?

Scanlan

Ooh, bondage? Me like-y. (chuckles as Kaylie ties up his arms) Also not opposed to being called daddy if the mood suits, hmm?

I've been wanting to do this for a while now.

Scanlan

Ooh. Do you, uh... Do you feel that? That's chemistry. And we have it.

We sure have something.

Scanlan

So, uh, tell me about yourself, beautiful Kaylie, eyes like the Marquesian sun.

I'm actually not too different from yourself. I grew up in Kymal, but I moved around a lot.

Scanlan

(Kaylie tightens his right arm) Ooh.

My mum gave up all her savings for my education.

(chuckles) Uh, oh, oh, yeah? Moms are the best.

(chuckles) Mine certainly was. You know, Dr. Dranzel spun many a tale about you, Scanlan Shorthalt.

Scanlan

Yeah, I mean, that's not surprising. That guy seemed like a bit of a fanboy.

But most of his stories I'd already heard... from my mother.

Scanlan

Huh. You, uh... You must make her quite, quite proud? (Kaylie laughs devilish, as Scanlan laughs nervously) Yeah.

Aye. She would be proud. (draws a blade) Proud I'm finally meeting the silver-tongued devil who whispered empty promises in her ear, then disappeared. Leaving her with nothing but a song. And me.

Scanlan

Wait... I'm daddy?!

(after rescuing Scanlan from dragon breath) You trying to get yourself killed?

Scanlan

Sorry, I just... I got shit to prove.

You? I found out I'm the champion of the Matron of Ravens.

Scanlan

I found out I'm a father.

You win.