Taco, this sukkah is supposed to be for Sukkot.
Yes, and after Sukkot comes Taccot.
What is Taccot?
Taccot is an ideal plane of existence where the 12 tribes of Israel come together with people who are high on mushrooms and groove to Aphex Twin.
This is my home.
Yeah, I'll give you all-access passes at a discount rate.
Guys, can we take a seat, please? Sit. [The league sits down] All right, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I think our league is lacking something.
A giant.
No, guys, trust. Every league gets to this point where we've cheated each other so many times over the years, we don't trust each other enough to make a simple trade. We've crossed the distrust horizon into the land of no trades.
Gee, I wonder who's responsible for that.
You are the Patient Zero of distrust, Pete.
OK, I admit it. But it's time for us to clear the air and get a little honesty going, okay?
OK. What happened in my apartment during the draft?
Nothing!
Did you guys cheat picking the draft order?
No!
Okay, good. Now that we're all being honest, I would like to show you something. [Removes a drape and reveals a dry-erase board with everyone's rosters, to which they are all amazed] As you can all see, all of our teams suck. Some of the lineups aren't even legal. So in honor of Sukkot, I would like to propose to you what I call the eight-way trade.
Wait—an eight-way? But Andre's sister's not even here.
Andre's sister? Shotgun last.
I think I've come up with a plan that everyone will be happy with if we just...do this. [Proceeds to make several trades throughout] Okay, Andre, you're in need of a good defense. You have four tight ends. I have four defenses and no tight ends.
Huh.
Kevin, three quarterbacks.
That could help out Taco, and the thing is, you got to start getting rid of some of these kickers.
I like kickers. They're the toughest.
Jenny, you might need more at wide receiver than just Michael Crabtree. Ruxin, you could let go of one or two of your wide receivers.
I'm not letting go of anyone good--no!
Package two wide receivers with the Baltimore defense and trade it for...MJD.
I like Maurice Jones-Drew.
I know you do.
Hey, what about me?
I haven't forgotten about you, Kevin.
It's good.
It's like a useless Good Will Hunting.
It's still not fair.
Just wait. Hold on.
You just got a great kicker.
One more move, and it's done. Do we have a deal. [Everyone agrees] Sukkot pact 2011, all in?
All in.
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