Oh darn, I forgot something.
Go in your pajamas!
No, it's not that, I forgot to say my prayers.
Oh Rose, God wouldn't mind if you skipped a night! He's very busy these days, most of his spare time is spent talking to Pat Robertson.
“Bedtime Story” · Season 2, Episode 17
In this episode: Blanche Devereaux (7), Rose Nylund (6), Dorothy Zbornak (4), Sophia Petrillo (4)
[deep voice, pretending to be God] Rose, thanks for the lovely prayer. Now shut up and get into bed.
Amen! [gets into bed]
Nice work, Dorothy.
Wasn't me.
[starts to look worried] Sweet Jesus, am I in trouble! [begins to pray] Now I lay me down to sleep...
I slept with my two brothers until I was seventeen. I was engaged to one for a very short period of time, but that's a separate story.
What are you doing?
I am contouring my eyebrows. I use Miss Christie Brinkley as a guide because we have exactly the same bone structure. I just hope she doesn't let herself go to pot after that baby comes. I don't want that big-eyed husband of hers coming after me.
I never do very much with my eyebrows.
That's why from the nose up, you look like Wilford Brimley.
Ma, don't be ridiculous, just turn up the heat.
It's already on 9. On 10, you can cook a Lean Cuisine!
[hearing a noise] Did you hear that?
Yeah, and while I'm in my own bed, I'll do what I want! [others back away]
SStationmaster
Y'all may think this sounds kinda silly, but we actually printed "Our trains leave early" right on the town seal.
You have a town seal? Can he play a song on those little horns?
SStationmaster
No, but he can balance a ball on his nose if you throw him a catfish first!
This is like the Twilight Zone. Somehow we got on a train that ended up inside Rose's mind.
[Rose, who is scared after hearing a radio report about two escaped convicts from Georgia, is in bed with Blanche, and is demanding that Blanche tell her a story to calm her fears]
Once upon a time there were three bears...
Not that one.
Pigs?
No!
[irritated] Elephants. And they lived with a little girl named Rose.
The elephants lived in the house?!
They were elephant dolls. Every night when Rose went to bed, she'd take the three elephants with her, because they made her feel so safe and secure.
Elephant dolls???
[sounding more and more irritated] Right, elephant dolls. Until finally one night they got so sick and tired of Rose annoying them that they went off to sleep someplace else, and two big ol' escaped convicts snuck in through the window and MURDERED ROSE IN HER SLEEP!!!!
Oh! [gets out of bed and flees into Blanche's closet]
Rose! Oh Rose, grow up!
Dorothy, you didn't even taste my chipped beef.
Of course I did, Rose!
You didn't like it.
Oh, don't be ridiculous, I loved it.
[indicating the pile of untouched food on Dorothy's plate] Well, then have another bite.
[pauses for a second] Okay... [gingerly takes a forkful of the chipped beef, but just as she is about to open her mouth, there is a power failure and the kitchen goes pitch black]
Oh no, the power lines must be down!
That's just great. I've got ten pounds of fresh clams in the refrigerator.
[Suddenly, the power returns, and we see Dorothy dabbing her lips with her napkin, and her plate is now clean]
Rose, that was delicious, oh, thank you.
Who moved my purse? [struggles to lift her purse] And why does it feel so heavy?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.