Oh girls, I am devastated, just devastated.
What happened?
I asked my teacher for help like you all told me to. He said the only way I would get an A on his final is if I sleep with him.
No!
Oh yes. I just don't know what to do!
Get it in writing!
“Adult Education” · Season 1, Episode 20
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (7), Rose Nylund (7), Blanche Devereaux (5), Sophia Petrillo (2)
[on the phone, trying to get Frank Sinatra tickets] It's what? ... Why, you... you've kept me on hold all this time to tell me that it is sold out?!! ... NO, NO, I WILL NOT HAVE A NICE DAY!!! [slams down phone]
[quizzing Blanche] Whose theory states a young man becomes intimate with his mother to get revenge on his father?
Well, I don't know who said it, but my second cousin Arlen did it.
I am exhausted. I went to at least a dozen ticket brokers today. They all told me the only way I'm going to get tickets is to go to a scalper.
Oh, you can't buy from a scalper! That's a crime!
So is eating grapes at the supermarket but you do that all the time.
I have to test them!
Rose, one is testing. Fourteen is brunch.
My God, I'm a criminal!
[on why she was afraid to talk in class as a child] I had a slight speech impediment. I mean, it's different for kids these days, you know, they have Barbara Walters to look up to. But in those days, it really stood out, you know? Oh, I don't know, it must have taken three months before I could muster up the courage, you know, to talk to Mrs. Lenhoff, but it turned out to be the smartest thing I could have done, because not only did she help me, you know, with the speech problem, she was the one who inspired me to go into the teaching profession.
You know what, I think tomorrow after class, I will talk to Professor Cooper.
Good girl!
Whatever happened to your teacher, Mrs. Lenhoff?
Oh gosh, the last I heard, she retired from teaching and opened a bed and breakfast someplace in Whode Island. [pauses] ... Rhode Island.
I got tickets too. This is such a coincidence. I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard--
No, no, no, no! Please, I cannot bear that again. She was listening to her car radio, Big Band, not All Talk. There was a contest. Something about a little voice, a lucky number, a dime and a doorhandle. Then bim bam boom, she won the tickets!
Take a lesson, Rose. That's how you tell a story.
I'm a very patient person. I once waited two whole weeks for a sty to go away. Every night I'd close my eyes and I'd picture it getting smaller and smaller, and one morning I woke up and it was gone!
[Sophia leans back against the refrigerator with her eyes closed]
Ma, you okay?
I'm fine. I'm just trying to make Rose go away.
Nils Feelander attempted to harass me repeatedly.
What do you mean, he attempted to?
He worked at Lars Eriksson's Drugstore and Tackle Shop, he was the soda jerk. Now that I think about it, he was the town jerk. Every Saturday afternoon I'd go in and have a sundae. Well, Nils would arrange the ice cream scoops in an obscene way. I could never prove it, because by the time I would take it home to show my father, the evidence had...
DBDorothy, Blanche
Melted.
Yeah. To this day, every time I pass an ice cream parlor or a tackle shop, I blush!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.