Just trying to keep the dream alive, Gina.
S2 E6Pommy Visitor
No-one asked you about the gun?
NMNeil MacPherson
No.
Did you have it with you when no-one asked you about it? Did you just walk straight through?
NMNeil MacPherson
Yes, no problem.
It doesn't really look like a gun.
I suppose it fires things that don't really look like bullets.
It doesn't look like a gun. it could be anything.
TDTaxi Driver
Take your gun, mate?
NMNeil MacPherson
Thank you very much.
And this small thermo-nuclear device if you've got room. Just anywhere in there.
He's in the newspaper today.
Oh, not again! What's he done today? Give us a look
Yesterday he christened a baby gorilla the the zoo.
Oh, yes. There's virtually no end to his capacity.
He's the one on the left.
We've had a review of all aspects of the office setup.
Could you perhaps be a tiny bit more specific?
You do try to make this as difficult as possible, don't you?
No, I'm not trying to make it difficult Nicholas. And personally I think you're doing fairly well so far. But would you mind please defining "we", "review", "aspects", "office" and "setup".
These are the latest figures on the sponsorship shortfall.
Situation.
Sponsorship shortfall situation.
Sponsorship situation.
Sponsorship situation.
S2 E7Immigration
Thanks for coming over, John.
I think if you've ordered someone to do something you should probably resist the urge to thank them.
They're doing a profile piece on John for the Sunday lift-out. You know, what's his favourite food, favourite film, favourite natural disaster.
Nicholas, what happened to the $12 million you were given to beef up the Customs service?
It's been spent.
On the Customs service?
Presumably.
I thought it might help his asylum application if he got a little publicity.
Do you think publicity's a food group?
John, if I might explain a little of Mr Stoyanov's background for you. I've done some research, Nicholas. Mr Stoyanov comes from a little-known part of Bulgaria called Glasgow. When he went through Customs last week, he did so under what I can only assume was his gypsy name of Euan McTavish.
It won't stand up to analysis.
There won't be any analysis. It's the Australian media, Gina.
They may seem familiar to you. They tell me they've met you. They are two young men from drought-stricken Somalia who tell me that they too are intending to claim status as economic refugees, the starvation rate in their country being what it so tragically is. You may not recognise them, however, as both of them now appear to weigh 22 stone, are white, and - according to their passports - bear the Somalian names of Nikolai Grigoriev and Yuri Ivanov. You'd be comforted to know though, Nicholas, that their superlative skills remain intact in the traditional African sport of the hammer throw.
So where are you guys from?
NNikolai
Somalia.
Somalia?
YYuri
Please give us food. We are hungry.
Mr Stoyanov, thank you very much for your time.
EMEuan McTavish
Pick a winda Jimmy, you're leavin'.
[Pretending to translate from Bulgarian] It is the best interview I am ever having.
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