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S1 E8

The Games · Season 1, Episode 8

“Lateline/Rural” quotes from The Games

4 quotes

“Lateline/Rural” · Season 1, Episode 8

In this episode: Gina Riley (3), Bryan Dawe (3), John Clarke (1), Nicholas Bell (1)

[Attempting to explain the changes to the swimming programme to the audience]:

IInterviewer

Okay, well tell me about the major changes to the swimming programme.

Well, what's currently proposed is the, what I believe I've just given you a copy of, which is that all heats will be run in the morning, as they normally are... slight change insofar as heats will be worked out on the best of three, times will obviously count. Perhaps Gina knows a little bit more about this than I do?

Thank you John. Yes, each swimmer will swim three heats in each event, the swimmer's slowest heat time will then be dropped, the other two times will then be multiplied by three over two then divided by three to give an aggregate time and the fastest 32 times will then move on to the next round.

Yes, and then there's a "wild card" entry, for those who are the top place getters in each of the races in which the fastest three times were recorded, and then there'll be quarter-finals, and then there'll be finals, and then there'll be repechages.

IInterviewer

Remind me, what is a repechage?

After the final sequence of heats, competitors who have not been successful go back into a stage of three previous heats in which there is a separate sequence of semi-finals - quarter-finals and semi-finals - and so people are given another chance, really. And then there'll be, obviously, a preliminary final, and then a quarter-final, semi-final, and then the rounds of three heats subsequent to the repechages, and the quarter-finals and semi-finals in respect of those, and that'll fill the eighth lane - the other seven lanes being filled as I've described - and, er, so, you know, that's fairly simple.

Look, they're coming from somewhere up in the sticks, they just want to present their proposal for the opening ceremony, alright?

Nicholas, you've just finished telling me that the contract for the opening ceremony has been awarded to a German company.

Yes, Einfahrt. [To camera] Nobody knows that yet, alright?

Well, it's academic, isn't it? You've already awarded the contract!

No, you will have to see them.

But there's no possible reason for seeing them Nicholas, you've awarded the contract!

That's precisely why you have to see them!

Why, because you've awarded the contract to the Germans?

I don't believe it.

Well, things have got to be done fairly and kept above board. [Patronisingly] There's the chap.

Now, you have all these schoolkids swarming into the stadium dressed as luminous glow-worms?

JJoyce

Not yet.

DMrs Dundas

Not now, not yet. They're not in until just gone dark.

JJoyce

Yeah.

DMrs Dundas

Cause they won't glow otherwise, and they'll need to glow.

JJoyce

Course they will, with everyone wanting to wave to mum and dad up in the stands.

What were you thinking Bryan, they're glowing!

Okay, glowing kids - after.

JJoyce

I do tell you though, you cannot get horses to form Adelaide churches. God, we tried. Can't get them to be pointy!

Shame.

That is a shame.

JJoyce

We could do Tazzy instead.

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