I don’t think there’s a serious problem with Sydney water. I mean, I drink it. Unless you mean the incident the other night when somebody emptied the Olympic pool by mistake and killed a couple of hundred species of fish up in the Ryde area but that’s a once-er, that’s not going to happen again.
“Dead Man” · Season 1, Episode 7
In this episode: John Clarke (7), Gina Riley (3), Bryan Dawe (2), Nicholas Bell (2), Jasmine Holt (2)
[Arguing about who should "entertain" a visiting IOC Official]
You take him out.
Oh, he doesn’t want to go out with me, Gina.
Of course he does. He’s bisexual. He’ll love it.
I beg your pardon?
It’s a courtesy, John. It happens all over the world.
Would you like to sit down?
No, I won’t, thank you. [Sits down]
We were just discussing who might attend the dinner with the delegate.
He’s dead.
I beg your pardon?
He was found dead in his hotel room at four o’clock this morning.
How dead?
Well, completely dead.
Look, look, Bryan, Bryan. If KFC gets, say, Carl Lewis to endorse their product the potential for confusion in the marketplace is absolutely enormous.
Oh come on, how? What are they going to do? Get Carl Lewis to hold up a chicken and say "This is a hamburger"?
I don’t know that this is what we do, is it? Sequester the dead?
They want to put the track, the skeet shooting, the badminton and the fencing all at the main venue.
Out here?
Yes.
How are they going to do that?
They’re going to make them night events. They’re going to put them on after everything else is finished.
But people will get shot, won’t they?
Well, they say they’re going to fire above their heads.
It’s never been a terribly convincing defence. "We were firing above their heads, Your Honour, and then we noticed large numbers of deceased persons."
He was particularly appalled – please get this down – that the games seemed to be turned into a benefit for television; a notoriously greedy and selfish medium that is obsessed with money and sensation, and is often run by morons who wouldn’t know if their arses were on fire unless the ratings told them so!
Excuse me. Excuse me. You’ve lost me a bit. Go back – greedy and selfish industry. Arses on fire. Morons.
Morons: M–O–R–
[Writing] Run by morons, many of whom are insane.
[Brandishing wallet as official badge] Federal Police.
[Brandishing wallet as official badge] Mittagong Regional Library.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Games pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.