Eighty years of age. We would have had him kneecapped at forty.
“Funding” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: John Clarke (8), Gina Riley (3), Bryan Dawe (3)
Ah, one message! This is the Olympics and we have one message. The rest of the world has conducted its business while we slept and we have one message. Let's hear it world. How can we help you?
VOVoice on answering machine
... so if you could call back on that number at your earliest convenience Mr Clarke, I would be very grateful.
After the beep! AFTER the beep! Après le bloody beep!
You know what irritates me?
Pollen?
[Reading the paper with increasing anger]:
That's not right. That's wrong. That's not that guy's position. He is not head of the Athletics Federation. Sorry, he isn't. That is completely wrong. Check your facts! He's not Portuguese, he's Polish ... and you, sir, are a bloody idiot.
VVVideo voiceover
No wucking furries.
What couldn't you do without?
My arse.
Tobacco sponsorship?
Yes.
Well done Bryan. That really is terrific news. Now here's a number. I want to see if you can get some more. You ring that. That's the Cambodian Embassy. They'll have a number for the estate of the late Pol Pot. See if you can get them to tip some money into a humanitarian sponsorship of some kind. You seem to be good at it.
The Formula One Grand Prix is currently less interesting than the video game that's based on it. The cars go around in a circle, they get Murray Walker off the ceiling, the game itself is a procession. You can't get past - the car in front at the beginning wins the race. The whole thing is decided by who's going to have a pit-stop. They're the fastest cars on Earth and the key element here, Bryan, is not racing. It's parking!
Your favourite drink ... apple and guava juice.
Why don't you just put 'wanker'?
You're just afraid if you start again you won't stop.
Well that's the thing with addictive chemicals, Bryan!
EElderly lady
Apple and guava? Wanker.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Games pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.