YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH...aren't mams brilliant? They give birth to you, you know, they 'have' you, an' that. And then they look after you, for as long as you want. You don't have to pay 'em or nowt, fantastic. In fact, they pay you, pocket money and that, you know? Brilliant. And they've got this special magic way of puttin' your socks on, where they turn 'em 'alf inside out. I love mams, they're brilliant, and they're all different, which is brilliant, 'cause if they all looked the same you wouldn't know which 'ouse to go to for your tea. That'd be terrible wouldn't it, you might not be ready at the time you normally have it. Dads are all right but mams are better, mams are softer, and they smell better, and they do the cooking. 'Ave you seen them new cookers called 'microwaves, where everything takes just one minute to cook, one minute, your dinner, your snack, your tea even. Just one minute, or your breakfast if you want. One minute breakfast, fantastic. Microwaves, brilliant, but you can't put metal in 'em, I don't know why.
[he trips and falls over his own feet]
I fell over, brilliant.