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The Cosby Show quotes

376 quotes · page 12 of 26

The Cosby Show
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S2 E13Vanessa's Bad Grade

I thought it over and I've decided I'm not taking off this sweater until you apologize for poking me in the shoulder.

I'm not apologizing.

Okay. [pokes Denise in the shoulder] We're even.

Hey, wait a minute. You're not even, you're still wearing my sweater.

Knock it off, Denise!

I don't have to.

You're just mad because this sweater looks better on me.

Yeah, right.

Don't shove me!

I can shove you any time I want to!

Is that right?!

Yeah, that's right!

Get off! Let go of me, Denise!

Let me-- LET GO-- LET GO OF MY HAIR VANESSA!!! LET GO! [Rudy is outside hearing the fight and Cliff and Clair rushes over]

What's goin' on in there?

Fight, fight!

All right, now-- stop stop the two of you stop! Stop it! [Cliff falls over]

[screaming] STOP IT!!!!!!!

All right, that's enough that's enough now stop, Denise and Vanessa, I said you better stop! Cliff, are you alright?

They took me out.

Rudy, wait in my room please

Do I have to?

Yes you do.

Now.

Yes now.

Oh boy.

I wanna know what's goin' on in here? [Denise and Vanessa talk at the same time] Wait a minute, wait a minute. Denise you go first.

Why does she get to go first?!

Because I said so!

She went into my closet and took the sweater: the one I said she couldn't have [Denise hits Vanessa and they keep fighting]

GIRLS, I SAID "STOP"!!! Stop it. Vanessa is this true?

Well---

[Interrupting her] No, no, no, before you start to say "No" let me remind you that you are wearing the evidence?

Oh yeah. Well, mom she shoved me!

I shoved her because she took my sweater!

We have rules in this house: one of them is "We don't take things that don't belong to us" and the other one is "We don't try to kill each other", Denise, you may not drive your car for 2 days.

But mom!

Don't "But mom" me! Vanessa, you can't talk on the telephone for the next 2 days. Now give your sister her sweater back.

And you will wear the same clothes for 2 days in a row!

Aw, come on, dad!

Come on, Vanessa, give your sister her sweater back. [Vanessa throws Denise's sweater at her]

Stop!

Give it back nicely.

I'm sorry, Denise.

Now I have to get it clean!

Okay, the money for the cleaning comes out of your allowance.

Yes, mom.

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

Yeah, but not to the death!

S2 E14The Auction

[Cliff is bidding on a painting and keeps getting outbid]

Hey, you, stop that! That's my daddy's painting!

AAuctioneer

All right, we have $1000 and a little girl who loves her daddy.

[Cliff is bidding on a painting and keeps getting outbid]

Hey, you, stop that! That's my daddy's painting!

AAuctioneer

All right, we have $1000 and a little girl who loves her daddy.

S2 E15Theo and Cockroach

[Yelling at some snowball-throwing kids] This is Dr. Huxtable! I delivered some of you! I'm a parent and a taxpayer! And I am probably the only adult who will sue little children!

[Yelling at some snowball-throwing kids] This is Dr. Huxtable! I delivered some of you! I'm a parent and a taxpayer! And I am probably the only adult who will sue little children!

[Ready to start throwing back at them] All right! You asked for it! Now you're gonna get it! You little weasels!

S2 E16The Dentist

[Cliff makes a dental appointment with Dr. Burns.]

So I'll see you Thursday afternoon 4 o'clock.

Dr. Burns, will you show me the teeth?

Yes.

Will you let me ride in the 'tooth shuttle'?

Well, you're getting a little old for that, but yes. Oh, and Cliff?

Yes?

When you leave, take just one toy please?

But I let you kiss my wife!

Two toys?

[Cliff makes a dental appointment with Dr. Burns.]

So I'll see you Thursday afternoon 4 o'clock.

Dr. Burns, will you show me the teeth?

Yes.

Will you let me ride in the 'tooth shuttle'?

Well, you're getting a little old for that, but yes. Oh, and Cliff?

Yes?

When you leave, take just one toy please?

But I let you kiss my wife!

Two toys?

S2 E17Play It Again, Russell

S2 E18A Touch of Wonder

SWStevie Wonder

Vanessa, that's a pretty name.

Thank you, Sir.

SWStevie Wonder

You're welcome, Madam.

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