Comedy Songs On TV
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Hill$ong
CCrowd
CCrowd
CCrowd
CCrowd
I'll be your new Tom Cruise
NNarrator
Here at last on CD - Shakespeare's most treasured sonnets and soliloquies as recited by Detective Superintendent Clive Pugh. Including selections from 'Hamlet'...
CClive (Chris Taylor)
"To be or not to be, that is the question at this point in time."
NNarrator
'Julius Caesar'...
CClive
"Friends, Romans, or persons of Mediterranean appearance, lend me your ears in a northerly direction."
NNarrator
And the famous balcony scene from 'Romeo and Juliet'.
CClive
"Romeo, Romeo. Victor Delta Tango, over."
NNarrator
This stunning collection also includes a bonus disk of classic Shakespearean love poems.
CClive
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"
NNarrator
Featuring special guest bad cop Roger Rogerson.
RRogerson (Craig Reucassel)
Answer the question!
NNarrator
Detective Superintendent Clive Pugh Recites the Bard' - This is one police record you'll want against your name.
Doctor Who
The Surprise Spruiker at the Persian Rug Warehouse
Prolix Songwriter
And keep that applause going for people who think David Hicks had a fair trial! (shows 5 empty seats)
Not even Downer turned up.
And the first problem we wanna fix is us. We’ve got a new timeslot no one knows about and we’re up against shows on commercial channels that have big ratings and, frankly, are much better.
[During a church service, Chris and Craig are drinking beer, like at a sports game.]
PPriest
Faith, hope, and....
Beer.
PPriest
And the greatest of these is...
Beer.
[Craig snorts into his cup of beer.]
CLChas Licciardello
(about APEC security) So here I am, Osama Bin Laden, standing 10 metres away from (George) Bush's hotel and what do they do? They arrest the other guy!
Top Blokes After Death (The Eulogy Song)
It’s the same show, but with a few key changes.
Oh, big new changes, Chris. Like during the opening, I’m sitting on this side of the couch, and you’re sitting on that side of the couch. It’s an exciting fresh new look.
Oh, it changes the whole feel of the programme. It’s very 2009.
Hello and welcome to the War for another week, the only show on TV that has more boofheads and morons than the Rugby League State of Origin.
(Talking about going on a date while wearing a 'swine flu mask') And as for the goodnight kiss at the end of the night, well, (shows footage of Chris trying to kiss a girl while both are wearing health masks) very unsatisfactory.
Like usual, then, yes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Chaser's War On Everything pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.