Julian Morrow quotes from The Chaser's War On Everything

Julian Morrow

And the first problem we wanna fix is us. We’ve got a new timeslot no one knows about and we’re up against shows on commercial channels that have big ratings and, frankly, are much better.

Andrew Hansen

Well, over the last few weeks you may have seen me in the role of Mr Ten Questions, uh, that’s where I approach celebrities and ask them a series of, um… er… how many questions was it again?

Julian Morrow

Ten. Ten.

Andrew

Thank you. Ten questions.

Craig

What events have we got coming up tonight?

Chris

Well, it’s all eyes on the pool as Libby Lenton and… [He notices the background pic has changed to a guy wearing an ‘I hate Chris’ sign.] Get stuffed! Get stuffed! Do your news segment on your own, guys.

Julian Morrow

Oh, well. Look, it’s a fair point, I reckon.

Craig

I know I hate him.

Polish?

Julian Morrow

Polish? I don’t speak Polish, no, sorry.

Polish?

Julian

(Through his megaphone.) I don’t speak Polish. No.