A character in The Chaser's War On Everything
Played by Chris Taylor
The Chaser's War On Everything · 38 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Chaser's War On Everything: in 12 of its 38 quotes
Most scenes with: Craig Reucassel (6), Andrew Hansen (3)
ChrisI think what Steven Bradbury showed us is that if you work hard enough and if you believe in yourself strongly enough, and if every other skater completely fucks up, then there’s no reason why we too can’t be Olympic gold medalists.
Road to Turin
Based in rural Western Australia, the pair lives 400 kilometers from the nearest rink, and is forced to rehearse their routines wearing socks on a slippery surface.
Chris TaylorComing up to your triple Axel now. [He attempts to spin Andrew, but throws him into a wall.] Oh. Sorry. We ran out of corridor.
Chris and I have been skating for, oh gosh, how long has it been now?
ChrisOh, about two weeks.
Two weeks or something. We hadn’t even set foot on the ice until, um…
ChrisToday.
Brokeback Mountain: Christian Edition
Hey, what are you doing?
I’m just trying to reach my bible.
Your bible?
Yeah.
Oh, my God, really?
Well, I’ve got one too.
Chris TaylorCraig, I’m not myself tonight.
What’s wrong?
ChrisI’m going out of my mind. I’m cracking up.
What is it?
ChrisWell, you know how there’s that new show on Channel Ten called ‘Everybody Hates Chris’? Every time I see its name on billboards or in TV guides, it really makes me paranoid. I think it’s always referring to me. I think everybody hates me.
Don’t be paranoid, Chris, everyone does hate you.
ChrisGet stuffed.
What events have we got coming up tonight?
ChrisWell, it’s all eyes on the pool as Libby Lenton and… [He notices the background pic has changed to a guy wearing an ‘I hate Chris’ sign.] Get stuffed! Get stuffed! Do your news segment on your own, guys.
Oh, well. Look, it’s a fair point, I reckon.
I know I hate him.
Road to Melbourne
ChrisYeah, we get a bit of grief from our mates about it, but we don’t see the sport as unmasculine at all.
Chris, could you help me put my glitter on, mate?
Chris TaylorAnd keep that applause going for people who think David Hicks had a fair trial! (shows 5 empty seats)
Not even Downer turned up.
[During a church service, Chris and Craig are drinking beer, like at a sports game.]
Faith, hope, and....
Chris TaylorBeer.
And the greatest of these is...
ChrisBeer.
[Craig snorts into his cup of beer.]
Chris TaylorIt’s the same show, but with a few key changes.
Oh, big new changes, Chris. Like during the opening, I’m sitting on this side of the couch, and you’re sitting on that side of the couch. It’s an exciting fresh new look.
Chris TaylorOh, it changes the whole feel of the programme. It’s very 2009.
Chris Taylor(Talking about going on a date while wearing a 'swine flu mask') And as for the goodnight kiss at the end of the night, well, (shows footage of Chris trying to kiss a girl while both are wearing health masks) very unsatisfactory.
Like usual, then, yes.
Chris TaylorNow, look, for those who came in late, the whole controversy began when Kevin Rudd was given a Mazda ute by his car dealer mates during the last election.
I can't believe he drives a ute.
ChrisI can't believe he has a mate.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Chaser's War On Everything pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
