Well, I went to one of those two dollar shops the other day. Loved it. Everything's two dollars, how can you possibly resist? I immediately bought this road sign with a platypus on it.
All S1
Characters
Andrew HansenAndrew Hansen · 16 quotes
Chris TaylorChris Taylor · 12 quotes
Craig ReucasselCraig Reucassel · 8 quotes
Julian MorrowJulian Morrow · 4 quotes
Most scenes together: Chris Taylor & Craig Reucassel (6), Andrew Hansen & Chris Taylor (3)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Hats that cost two dollars sell themselves, I think.
AHAndrew Hansen as the Surprise Spruiker
[In front of an Armani store.] Boutique, boutique, boutique bargains! Here today at Giorgio Armani's. Men's suits, ties, leisurewear, from as little as $5000 a piece! Come on in and grab a bargain! That's right shoppers, it's thousand dollar madness!
Road to Turin
AAnnouncer
Based in rural Western Australia, the pair lives 400 kilometers from the nearest rink, and is forced to rehearse their routines wearing socks on a slippery surface.
Coming up to your triple Axel now. [He attempts to spin Andrew, but throws him into a wall.] Oh. Sorry. We ran out of corridor.
Chris and I have been skating for, oh gosh, how long has it been now?
Oh, about two weeks.
Two weeks or something. We hadn’t even set foot on the ice until, um…
Today.
Chis, mate, I think I’ve torn my tutu.
I think what Steven Bradbury showed us is that if you work hard enough and if you believe in yourself strongly enough, and if every other skater completely fucks up, then there’s no reason why we too can’t be Olympic gold medalists.
Brokeback Mountain: Christian Edition
CChris (Jack)
Hey, what are you doing?
AAndrew (Ennis)
I’m just trying to reach my bible.
CChris (Jack)
Your bible?
AAndrew (Ennis)
Yeah.
CChris (Jack)
Oh, my God, really?
AAndrew (Ennis)
Well, I’ve got one too.
AAndrew (Ennis)
I need to see you ‘gain, Jack. I need to discuss Paul’s second epistle to the Corinthians.
Well, over the last few weeks you may have seen me in the role of Mr Ten Questions, uh, that’s where I approach celebrities and ask them a series of, um… er… how many questions was it again?
Ten. Ten.
Thank you. Ten questions.
Craig, I’m not myself tonight.
What’s wrong?
I’m going out of my mind. I’m cracking up.
What is it?
Well, you know how there’s that new show on Channel Ten called ‘Everybody Hates Chris’? Every time I see its name on billboards or in TV guides, it really makes me paranoid. I think it’s always referring to me. I think everybody hates me.
Don’t be paranoid, Chris, everyone does hate you.
Get stuffed.
What events have we got coming up tonight?
Well, it’s all eyes on the pool as Libby Lenton and… [He notices the background pic has changed to a guy wearing an ‘I hate Chris’ sign.] Get stuffed! Get stuffed! Do your news segment on your own, guys.
Oh, well. Look, it’s a fair point, I reckon.
I know I hate him.
Road to Melbourne
Yeah, we get a bit of grief from our mates about it, but we don’t see the sport as unmasculine at all.
Chris, could you help me put my glitter on, mate?
The Credits Song
The White Stripes - Now My Clothes Are Pink
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Chaser's War On Everything pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.