Raj and Sheldon in “The Pants Alternative”

[teaching Sheldon how to calm himself with meditation] OK, Sheldon, imagine the place you feel most at home. Where is that?

Sim City. In particular, the Sim city I designed--Sheldonopolis.

OK, you're in Sheldonopolis,

Where exactly? Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? Sheldon Stadium, home of the fighting Sheldons?

Whatever you like.

I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.

Fine, you're in Sheldon Square.

Really? This time of year? It's a bit nippy.

Then put on a sweater.

I suppose I could run downtown and pick something up at Shel-Mart.

Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.

You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, so I get a 15% discount.

You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!

Look, I didn't turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.

All right. You've paid for a sweater and you're in Sheldon Square.

Hang on. It's a cardigan. I have to button it. [He does so] Oh no!

What now?

A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me! If the children can't run leave them behind! Oh, the simulated horror! [Raj leaves and slams the door. Sheldon opens his eyes] Raj? [To himself] Just as I suspected. Meditation is nothing but hokum.