The Bear Season 1 quotes

Richie Jerimovich

Natalie, I'm not like this 'cause I'm into Van Halen. I am into Van Halen because I'm like this.

Okay. Um... Listen. Everyone's asking what this... What is the seven fishes or why do we do it?

Mm-hmm.

And I think I know what my definition is. Uh, as soon as I think of it. It's a chance to... be together and to take care of each other. And to eat together. And there's seven fishes, which means you have to make seven entirely different dishes. Seven entirely different ways. And that takes a lot of time. And... I think spending that time and using that time on the people that we love is how we show them that we love them. And maybe we eat too much... and we definitely drink too much and we say too much without listening. But... tonight we... we're gonna eat seven fishes... which is absurd. Uh... But we have to take extra time to do it and we have to chew more and we have to listen more. And, uh, we only get to do this tonight one time. So... I, by the way, love it. I love being here. Thank you for having me every year at this. I look... I very much look forward to this. And I love you. I'm very in love with Michelle. And I'm not gay like you guys asked a lot. But I was thinking about what... what you said about bears and how they're aggressive. They're aggressive, but they're kind. They're sensitive. You guys have been so kind to me. You let me hang out with you every holiday. I don't have a family like this and... I'm really grateful that, um, you make space for me at this table and you make time for me on the holidays. May God bless us and keep us safe in the New Year. And please give Michael the strength not to throw that fork. Amen.

I threw the fork, Lee. See what I did, I threw the fork!

Richie Jerimovich

Cousin, you're scaring the normals.

This is fine, this is nothing. This is... it's nothing.

Hey Mikey, can you hear me right now?

Not right now, Stevie.

Richie Jerimovich

Cut it out.

Rich.

Here look, here's the thing: you see, I can throw forks, 'cause this is our father's house. My father's house.

We have liftoff.

Okay, you got everyone's attention, so go ahead, tell us a story we've all heard a million times already.

That's good, Lee.

Yeah, tell a story about how you're living with your mom, and you're borrowing money off of her and any other sucker who'll listen to your bullshit.

Uncle Jimmy

Lee shut the fuck up.

You're one of the suckers, Jimmy! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I told him! I told him not to listen to you, I told him not to help. I told him to tell you to go scratch!

Uncle Jimmy

Thanks a whole fucking lot, buddy. You come back next year, okay? Motherfuck.

Shh, shh. Unc, it's fine.

Yeah, it's fine. It's just totally fine. It's fine. It's fine, because this guy's nothing, and he's nobody, and I know you're scared and you're afraid, aren't you, Michael? And Michael, I don't know what the fuck you're on, but whatever it is, if you can hear me through the fog, throw another fork at me, you're gonna get fuckin' rocked!

Sugar Berzatto

Mom. Mom. Hey. You okay?

Oh my God. Oh, Natalie... Rose Berzatto... do you know how much I fucking hate when you ask me that? Do you know how much I fucking hate... that you ask me that. Do you... do you ask the rest of these people if they're okay?

Sugar Berzatto

No.

Uh... do I not look okay, Natalie?

Not really.

Oh, fuck you, Michelle! I do not look okay? Did I not just bust my ass all day for you motherfuckers?

I didn't mean it like that.

This... is beautiful! Am I okay? Am I okay? Are you motherfuckers okay? Are you okay, Lee? You didn't do shit! This is fucking gorgeous! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Richie Jerimovich

[quoting from The Blues Brothers.] A hundred six miles to Chicago.

Carmy Berzatto

Full tank of gas.

Richie Jerimovich

Half a pack of cigarettes.

Carmy Berzatto

It's dark. We're wearing sunglasses.

Richie Jerimovich

Hit it.

Carmy Berzatto

I wasn’t here. Right? What the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna be in a relationship? I’m a fuckin’… I’m a fuckin’ psycho. That’s why. That’s why I’m good at what I do. That’s how I operate. I am the best because I didn’t have any of this fucking bullshit, right? I could, I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and-and I had fuckin’ cell reception and… I don’t need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I don’t need to receive any amusement or enjoyment. I’m completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this feels. It’s just a complete waste of fuckin’ time.

I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carm.

Carmy Berzatto

It's a fennel allergy. Sub blood orange.

Marcus Brooks

Take us there, Bear.

Sydney Adamu

We're going to change everything ... every day?

Carmy Berzatto

No, I hate this.

Neil Fak

For a surprise?

Carmy Berzatto

No, fuck surprises. Fuck surprises.

Neil Fak

Why? I love surprises! You'd love a surprise.

Richie Jerimovich

Yes! Fucking surprise!

Carmy Berzatto

Richie! No surprise. No fucking surprise!

Richie Jerimovich

Stay the fuck out of the dream weave, Carmen! Let's go.

Neil Fak

Yes.

Richie Jerimovich

One two three... Feliz cumpleanos (Happy birthday)...

I don't know what's flimsier, these walls or the partnership promises.

Sugar Berzatto

What's up, Computer?

Pastry chef?

Sugar Berzatto

What about him?

I mean, he... he makes two things, so that makes him too expensive.

Sugar Berzatto

Okay... w-what do you want me to do about it?

Do you need a pastry chef?

Sugar Berzatto

That's Marcus.

Do you need a Marcus?

Sugar Berzatto

Yeah, we need a Marcus.

Can you get a cheaper Marcus?

Sugar Berzatto

Computer.

Natalie.

Sugar Berzatto

I've known you for 35 years. You coached Mikey's Little League team. You're nice to Pete. If you fuck with Marcus, I will murder you.

Chef.

Sugar Berzatto

Chef.

Neil Fak

You can't put me in a box.

Listen, you might totally throw that fucking sandwich in my face, and like, have at it, okay? But I'm just gonna say, full disclosure, that this place, like this fucking place, it sucks. Like you go home, and you fucking smell it, you know? And it's like insane, and there's so much fucking yelling here. But, I swear to you, there are days that it is so much fun. Like it is so much fun. And like the pay is shit, right? But there are days we make a rack of fucking tips, and it's like it feels fucking good. So, uh...

What are you asking me?

I need a new line cook.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I have an actual... I have an actual resume...

What the fuck am I gonna do with a resume? I'll go clean the toilet with the fucking resume. I don't need a resume, I talked to you.

Sugar Berzatto

Enabler, hero, scapegoat, mascot, lost child.