GWGary "Sweeps" Woods
So, how are you going to pass the family test? Delicious or impressive?
Delicious is impressive.
SSweeps
Word.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
CDChef David
Why are you serving broken sauces? Why? I get it. You have a short man's complex. You can barely reach over this fucking table, right? Is this why you have the tattoos and your cool little scars, and you go out and take your smoke breaks? It's fun, isn't it? But here's the thing: you're terrible at this. You're no good at it. Go faster, motherfucker, keep going faster. Why are you so slow? Why are you so fucking slow? Why? You think you're so tough. Yeah. Why don't you say this? Say "Yes, chef, I'm so tough."
Yes, chef. I'm so tough.
CDChef David
Say fucking "Yes, chef, I'm so tough"!
Yes, chef. I'm so tough.
CDChef David
You are not tough. You are bullshit. You are talentless. Say fucking hands.
Hands!
CDChef David
[whispering] You should be dead.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
PPete
You want me to shut the fuck up?
Not you, sweetie, you didn't say anything.
You like to shit on my system, but I run a tight ship, and I get back to my cohorts and my associates in a timely fashion.
Alright, do me a favor. Just name a cohort. Name an associate. Just one fuckin' person. I dare you.
It's not gonna fit. It's not gonna fit! [while Richie is trying to insert the family hot dog into the overstuffed cargo area of minivan]
It wasn't my phone!
You call an electrician or a plumber, that's it!
I've been saying this shit for fucking years! It wasn't my fucking phone!
[mocking Richie] Oh, Cicero! I'm your guy! I got a kid now, Cicero! I need a fucking real job!
You think I don't know how to pick up a goddamn phone?
[still mocking Richie] Oh, Cicero, can I have tickets to The Lion King?
Pick up a goddamn phone, and we don't even know... how she fell down those stairs.
You want us to get this stuff out back or how do you, uh...
Yeah, take it around the side for me, will you?
Around the side, sure.
Yeah, thanks, Rick.
I fucking hate it when you call me Rick...
I fucking hate it when you don't answer your phone!
Hey, uh, you guys wanna see something disgusting? I don't understand it. It's so mysterious to me. He's sitting there, sleeping like a baby. I wanna beat the living fucking crap out of him. [looking over a sleeping Pete]
I won't make a mistake again.
Yeah, you will. But not 'cause you're you, just 'cause shit happens. I started a fryer fire the night after I won Food & Wine 's Best New Chef; nearly burned the place down.
For real?
For real. This weird thing happens too; you have this minute where you're watching the fire and you're thinking, "If I don't do anything, this place will burn down and all of my anxiety will go away with it."
And then you put the fire out.
Then you put the fire out.
And this one time, when I was a kid, I thought I saw a dragon.
Just pay attention! Don't strip the thread.
I'm not stripping the thread. Stop trying to fuck me!
I'm not trying to fuck you, bro.
Dude, it's a human resources offense, dude.
Oh yeah? Guess what. You're looking at Human Resources.
Really?
Yeah, I also have a lot going on. Did you know I recently had a brother die too?
Is there a name for that thing where you're afraid of something good happening 'cause you think something bad's gonna happen?
I don't know. Life?
Ebra, make sandwiches! Don't stop making fucking sandwiches.
EEbraheim
Yes, chef.
I'm going to make three sections, OK? They're going to be Wet, Hot, and Sweet, alright? I'm going to take green tape, make those sections. Louie, I want you to get the sandwiches put into the corresponding sections.
LMLouie Marrero
OK, yeah.
Yo, bag, Sharpie, label that shit.
SWSweeps Woods
Yes, chef.
Tina, fire every single chicken we have, please. OK? Richie, do you even know how to do fries?
Yes. And I know we need them now.
OK. Marcus, where are we on cakes?
Uh, getting there.
Getting there? What the fuck do you - Marcus, what the fuck are you doing still working on this shit?
Yo, come on. What are you tripping for? The cakes are in the oven.
What the fuck am I tripping for? Are you here right now?
It doesn't make a difference. There's four cakes. And still - Yeah, I was going to cut them.
They're not even cut yet?
Yeah, it's not that big of a deal.
What's this? Chef!
Um, I am - I'm doing them in five, basically. I'm going to order them in fives, so -
No, stop. Everything. Fire everything right fucking now.
OK, I'll fire everything now. I just was finishing talking to Marcus and -
Step out. Step out. Step out - GET THE FUCK OFF MY EXPO, CHEF, NOW! GET THE FUCK OFF! Thank you! We're firing 76 beefs, 34 chickens, OK? 12 French fries, 12 mash, fucking now!
Behind.
Corner - [Sydney runs into Richie and drops one of the freshly made cakes.]
Oh, shit.
You didn't say corner. You didn't say corner.
Fuck you, Richie. Fuck you.
You don't need to curse at me like a maniac.
Fuck y - I'm not a fucking maniac, man.
It's your bullshit that fucked us today, not mine. It's your bullshit.
Fuck you, Richie. Fuck you.
You are an excellent chef. You are also a piece of shit. This isn't on me. Good luck.
I think when I was a kid, anything that would give me any sort of excitement or amusement or enjoyment, uh, it always got kinda fucked. You know, I-I don't think my family meant to ruin it or anything like that, you know. I-I don't think they did it on purpose. But I-I think they just, they try too hard. You know, or they'd make promises that they weren't able to keep. Have to remind myself to breathe sometimes. I, um, have to remind myself to, uh... to be present, you know. Remind myself that the sky is not falling, that, um, there is no other shoe, which is incredibly difficult because there is always another shoe.
CLChef Luca
No, I think at a certain stage it becomes less about skill and more about being open.
Open?
CLChef Luca
Yeah, to the world, to yourself, to other people. You know, most of the incredible things I've eaten haven't been because the skill level is exceptionally high or there's loads of mad fancy techniques. It's because it's been really inspired, you know.
I like that.
CLChef Luca
You can spend all the time in the world in here, but if you don't spend enough time out there?
Yeah.
CLChef Luca
You know?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Bear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.