Uncle Jimmy quotes from The Bear

Uncle Jimmy

Hey, uh, you guys wanna see something disgusting? I don't understand it. It's so mysterious to me. He's sitting there, sleeping like a baby. I wanna beat the living fucking crap out of him. [looking over a sleeping Pete]

Uncle Jimmy

Yeah, I went to a lecture series. How do you think I got to be so erudite?

Richie Jerimovich

It wasn't my phone!

Uncle Jimmy

You call an electrician or a plumber, that's it!

Richie Jerimovich

I've been saying this shit for fucking years! It wasn't my fucking phone!

Uncle Jimmy

[mocking Richie] Oh, Cicero! I'm your guy! I got a kid now, Cicero! I need a fucking real job!

Richie Jerimovich

You think I don't know how to pick up a goddamn phone?

Uncle Jimmy

[still mocking Richie] Oh, Cicero, can I have tickets to The Lion King?

Richie Jerimovich

Pick up a goddamn phone, and we don't even know... how she fell down those stairs.

Carmy Berzatto

You want us to get this stuff out back or how do you, uh...

Uncle Jimmy

Yeah, take it around the side for me, will you?

Carmy Berzatto

Around the side, sure.

Uncle Jimmy

Yeah, thanks, Rick.

Richie Jerimovich

I fucking hate it when you call me Rick...

Uncle Jimmy

I fucking hate it when you don't answer your phone!

I threw the fork, Lee. See what I did, I threw the fork!

Richie Jerimovich

Cousin, you're scaring the normals.

This is fine, this is nothing. This is... it's nothing.

Hey Mikey, can you hear me right now?

Not right now, Stevie.

Richie Jerimovich

Cut it out.

Rich.

Here look, here's the thing: you see, I can throw forks, 'cause this is our father's house. My father's house.

We have liftoff.

Okay, you got everyone's attention, so go ahead, tell us a story we've all heard a million times already.

That's good, Lee.

Yeah, tell a story about how you're living with your mom, and you're borrowing money off of her and any other sucker who'll listen to your bullshit.

Uncle Jimmy

Lee shut the fuck up.

You're one of the suckers, Jimmy! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I told him! I told him not to listen to you, I told him not to help. I told him to tell you to go scratch!

Uncle Jimmy

Thanks a whole fucking lot, buddy. You come back next year, okay? Motherfuck.

Shh, shh. Unc, it's fine.

Yeah, it's fine. It's just totally fine. It's fine. It's fine, because this guy's nothing, and he's nobody, and I know you're scared and you're afraid, aren't you, Michael? And Michael, I don't know what the fuck you're on, but whatever it is, if you can hear me through the fog, throw another fork at me, you're gonna get fuckin' rocked!