[The Joker, still dressed as Batman, finds two young girls drawing on a pavement in chalk]
Well, well, well. Graffiti! That's a pretty serious offense, girls. But that's why I became a crimefighter - to take out garbage like you!
[He leaps towards them, but Batman knocks him away]
BatmanThe costume party's over, Joker.
Joker? Didn't you hear? The Clown Prince of Crime's checked out. He just couldn't take anymore. Couldn't take the Batman. Always there to thwart his latest scheme. Well, it was really starting to drive him mad! [Batman grabs Joker] But then Joker thought, if he couldn't beat the Bat, he'd be the Bat. [chuckles]
Batman
Think Gotham has one Batman too many.
Which means one of us has gotta go.
Batman
My thoughts exactly.
You sure got a lot of bloodhound in you, for a bat. What do you think? A dry little spot to catch my breath between heists.
Batman
And right beside the overflow pumps for Gotham's canal system.
They were designed to drain the canals into the bay in case of flooding. But I did some thinking: if you reverse the pumps...
Batman
They draw water in from the bay, filling the canals, until they submerge any part of Gotham situated below sea level.
Just about all of downtown, where the good shopping is.
Batman
Tens of thousands of lives could be lost.
And I'll shed a crocodile tear for each and every one...
Batman
I'm not your enemy, Bennett.
You're the only one I see standing between me and my freedom.
Batman
You have options.
Like prison or Arkham? Hmm, I pick... eliminating witnesses!
Batman
That's the clay talking, Bennett!
How do you know where Bennett ends and Clayface begins?!
Batman
Bennett, give up. It's not too late.
[slowly transforming back into clay] Isn't it, Bats? Look, here's the problem as I see it. Being Ethan Bennett is hard, really hard. Being Clayface... is cake. So say your goodbyes. This is the last you'll ever see of him.
[His face melts into Clayface's before Batman and Yin's devastated eyes]
Now step aside or I'll mash you both. [morphs his hand into a spiked weapon] Mash anyone who gets in my way!
[sadly] Good to know. You just made this a whole lot easier.
[She throws one of Batman's freezing pellets at Clayface, who is too surprised to avoid absorbing it]
Didn't expect that from you, Yin. I guess you do have... a new partner.
Batman
Halloween's nearly over, "Grundy". Time to lose the mask. [tears off "Solomon Grundy"'s face, which turns into clay] Trick or treat... Clayface.
Can't blame me for having some Halloween fun, can you, Bats?
Batman
Terrorizing the descendants and destroying their homes was your cover, but it was their money you were after.
Leave them destitute, like the legend says.
Batman
No one would think of chasing after Grundy for the money. They'd have to dredge Gotham Swamp.
And I'd be long gone with my loot, taking any face I wanted - alive, dead or non-existent.
Batman
Knew I couldn't lose a 500-pound zombie that easily.
I may not have tricked you, Bats, but I'm still gonna collect my treats!
Batman
Let me make myself clear: there's no room for a Batgirl in Gotham.
That's cool because it's Batwoman, as in, I'm a grown woman and don't need to listen to you.
Batman
Then, for your own safety, if you won't listen to me, I'm gonna have to tell your father, Miss Gordon.
Uh, you must have me confused with someone else. [Batman glares at her] Dude! You just broke the superhero secret identity code!
Batman
You planted Scarface in Wesker's apartment. Why?
I had to put my treatment to the test, Batman. You know, to see if the criminal mind can ever really be cured.
Batman
I don't approve of your methods, Professor Strange.
Says the man who dresses like a bat.
Batman
I'll be watching you.
Ah. The Dark Knight returns.
Batman
D.A.V.E.'s escape was no accident, was it, Professor?
[covertly opening a draw on his desk] You are not suggesting that I deliberately released Gotham's ultimate criminal mastermind?
Batman
I'm suggesting that you might find Arkham a better home than office.
The line between genius and insanity is often blurred.
[He pulls a gun and fires at Batman, but is quickly restrained. Batman then notices the collection of memorabilia of him in Strange's files]
Batman
Didn't know you were such a fan.
Your obsession with criminals fascinates me as much as the criminals themselves.
Batman
Shut down D.A.V.E., now!
I may have created D.A.V.E., Batman, but I no longer control him.
Batman
Then tell me how to stop him!
You can't. You see, he was designed to stop you. D.A.V.E. enacted his crimes to bait you into encounters, in order to study you.
Batman
And why would he want to study me?
[smiling darkly] Because I also programmed my psychology into D.A.V.E.'s brain. D.A.V.E. shares my fascination with you, Batman - and by now, has probably learned all there is to know about you.
[At Wayne Manor, Alfred answers the doorbell]
Yes, yes, one moment. [he opens the door to find D.A.V.E. standing there]
DVD.A.V.E.
Good evening. Is the Batman home?
You and me, work together? I'm into riddles, not jokes. Besides, I've ruined Gorman, and that's as good a note as any to go out on.
Batman
Then you're sure it was Gorman who sabotaged you?
Even you, Batman, could have puzzled together a mystery this obvious.
Batman
Yeah, obvious. I guess I just figured with a riddle, the most obvious answer is rarely the right one.
Mind if we cut in, Batsy? You see, there's this nasty little rumor we'd all like to stomp out!
RRumor
[to Batman] You have to save me!
Batman
I know.
Let me guess. This is one of those "not the easy way, but the right way" moments?
The Batman (2004) · 92 quotes
