How about we tell people we opened the store today, and we've got Fearne Cotton and Alesha Dixon in the store?
Sandeesh Samra: Because that would be a lie?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I don't like your last outbursts...and I don't like what I've seen across the table here today. You've talked yourself out of this. If you'd shut up a while back, it may be someone else going. Paloma, you're fired.
If I was an apple pie, the apples inside would be orange.
LMLaura Moore
[suggesting a name for a cleaning product] Blitz?
Alex Epstein: The Blitz was a big bombing thing, wasn't it, years ago, like the Blitz in London?
Laura Moore: But 'blitz clean', that's a word that people use...
Alex Epstein: I think most people that were alive then are dead anyway.
Hasta la vista, gravy.
[gravelly American accent] Coming to a kitchen or bathroom near you. There'll be no mercy...only total devastation.
Influenza's going to be Cockney. [Cockney accent] 'Let's hide down 'ere. Dey won't find us down 'ere, mate.'
[take two, as Influenza] 'Don't worry, E.coli. Come an' 'ide down 'ere wiv me. No cleaner cleans this deep.' [whiny voice, as E.coli] 'Oh no, it's the Germ-o-nator! Urrrrgh!'
The first time an octopus was mentioned, it was mentioned by the woman at the focus group, and as soon as she mentioned octopus, you were all over it like a tramp on chips.
[on Apollo's final product] This thing is the most horrible thing I've seen in the bathroom since Psycho.
If Alex comes back, I will genuinely eat an item of clothing from every single one of you.
WHEN!!
(to Alex shortly before firing him) It is with regret that having given you the change and opportunity, Alex that I'm going to have to say to you, you're fired.
Alex Epstein: Nice to meet you Lord Sugar, likewise Nick and Karren. Thank you very much indeed.
[while filming the backdrop at Brands Hatch] I have to rein in my extreme masculinity in this task.
[Stuart Baggs'] leadership style leaves me trembling with irritation.
Lucky for us that you made so many screw-ups, because you could have actually won. You should have won.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.