Gomez Addams quotes from The Addams Family

Morticia

Where are the children, dear?

Gomez

Oh, they're fine. They're riding on the roof.

Morticia

I do hope they don't get car sick. Is Lurch with them?

Gomez

Oh, no. He likes to ride with his head out the window and growl at the passing cars.

Gomez

Kitty-Cat doesn't need a hairpiece. Never met a lion who did.

A lion? In THIS house?

Morticia

How else are the children going to learn anything about nature?

Gomez

I can't wait till pet day at school.

Morticia

Darling, I'm worried.

Gomez

About what?

Morticia

Uncle Fester and Madeline. I think those two are in love.

Gomez

With whom?

Morticia

With each other.

Gomez

Impossible.

Morticia

No, it's not at all impossible, darling. According to their horoscopes, it's perfect - she's a Capricorn and he's a bachelor.

Cousin Itt? From, eh, who's side of the family?

Morticia

He's from both sides of the family. He hasn't quite found himself.

Gomez

And with Cousin Itt, that's not easy. He looks the same from every angle.

Morticia

Poor Cousin Itt, he's so nervous he went up in the treehouse with Uncle Fester.

Gomez

I hope a passing eagle doesn't snatch him up.

Morticia

Oh dear, he would make good nesting material, wouldn't he?

Gomez

Lurch! He's been stabbed!

Morticia

Nonsense, darling. That's the way he sings.

Gomez

He'd be better stabbed.

Gomez

[Lurch has left] Well, he belongs to the ages now.

Morticia

I'll miss his happy smiling face.

Gomez

I need a drink. I'll ring for Fester.

Lurch

You rang?

Gomez

Lurch!

Morticia

You're back!

Lurch

[exhausted after facing his adoring fans] To stay...

Gomez

Tish, Zen Yogi's been taking up entirely too much of my life.

Morticia

Darling, you're so right. And besides, all this standing on your head is getting rather expensive. None of your hats fit any more.