A character in The A Team
Played by Dirk Benedict
The A Team · 70 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The A Team: in 30 of its 70 quotes
Most scenes with: Murdock (19), Hannibal Smith (15), B.A. Baracus (8)
FaceLook Hannibal, there's about a hundred reasons why I hate this plan of yours, but my biggest objection, even bigger than my objection to letting someone else drive my 'vette, my biggest objection is sending the Golden Age of Television here to back up Tawnia while she's trying to scam a piece of scuzzy luggage like Harnett.
Thanks for the support, O facial one.
(on bullhorn) It's over, Smith. You lost.
And I was having such a nice day.
FaceDon't worry, he'll give us a minute like he always does.
(on bullhorn) You have thirty seconds to give up your weapons before we open fire.
Got to give the man credit. He's learning.
[Hannibal has directed the bad guys, Hoyt Plummer and Williams, into checking out "his old boss Crazy Willie Beano"]
Face, there's been a change in plan, I'm staying here.
FaceWhat did you tell them?
What else, I've got a crazy boss.
FaceOh great, and you're not gonna be there to give the performance. Who are we gonna use?
Well, I told them he was crazy.
[Cut to the fake store, where Murdock acts as the crazy boss]
I am Crazy Willie. Beano. Beano, y'know, rhymes with Dino? What's the matter, you don't understand English? Dino, everybody loves some... (Sees Williams trying to reach for a gun in his waistband) What's the matter, you think I'm wearing a piece? (Pats his underarms) I'm clean! I'm running a business here, not a shooting gallery!
Alright, we're gonna make this nice and simple: we either get our truck back or we bury you underneath the store!
Forgive me for not laughing, but I always find the baby's first step to be a very serious thing. Nobody comes in here and threatens me under my own roof. Especially when I'm eating a tuna-fish sandwich.
Smith said this guy was looney-tunes.
Looney Tunes, huh? What other TV program do you watch regularly?
Alright, I don't know what your game is, but we want that truck back!
Hmph. The only thing that Crazy Willie ever gives back, is trouble. You mess around with one of my boys, I rip off one of your trucks. Fair is fair! (Knocks on the counter)
(Emerges from the back room with a rifle slung over his shoulder) Can I help you with anything?
This here's a friend of mine, we call him Mayhem.
Alright, you want a war? We'll give you a war!
(Takes out a deck of cards from his jacket) Alright, red and you're dead. Take one off the top! (Plummer takes a seven of spades) It's your lucky day! You don't even get to bleed on the carpeting. (Snatches the card back) Now you tell your friends I sell auto parts, and if they want some, they should come down here and see me. (Hands Plummer his plate and walks off) I'll provide the lunch.
FaceYou better watch my back.
Who's gonna watch mine?
The walk across the room.
Face, your back. It's looking good.
[B.A. and Murdock were attacked by one of Boyle's men]
You're sure it was one of Boyle's men?
Absolutely. It was that guy, Lupis. He's about 6'3', built like a bathtub.
[...]
FaceYou want me to pick up WHO?
Eh ... Lupis. He works for Boyle. We saw him yesterday.
FaceOh, yes. It's the big one, about 6'4', built like a chest of drawers?
Yeah, that's the guy, guy. And you be careful. He almost killed B.A. He's at least 6'5', 240.
Now, I'm gonna check out his office. You check his house. If the guy Lupis shows, bag him.
FaceWait, the guy's 6'6', 250 pounds. He almost killed B.A., and you want ME to bag him?
Sure.
[Final scene]
Face(Drops his badge on the table next to the other two) Ah, sheriffs of Rivertown, I'm gonna miss this job.
Hey, if it weren't for you guys, there wouldn't even be a Rivertown.
There wouldn't be a Craig Monroe either.
So, if you ever come to Oklahoma, you should look us up. I'll fix you one of my special home-cooked meals. Just... do me a favor and promise not to make any fists?
FaceYeah, well actually, fighting's not really my strong suit, I'm much more adapted to romantic endeavors. (They kiss)
If you don't wanna miss the plane, then you better get a move on.
Yeah. (Picks up the suitcases) You ready, sis?
Yeah.
Thanks again.
Good luck.
Adios amigos. (The Monroes leave)
Speaking of planes, Hannibal. (Rises, grabs a stick; Hannibal, Face and Murdock back into a jail cell)
B.A., you're not mad just because we flew you down here, are you?
FaceNow wait a minute, remember your oath as a deputy, not to hurt other deputies?
I see three badges on the table, that mean you are civilians. I still got my badge. And as official law officer of Rivertown, I'm giving you guys two days in jail. (Locks the cell) I love it, when a plan comes together!
FaceBut Hannibal, rules are made to be broken!
Noses are also made to be broken, right, Face?
FaceThe bigger they are, The harder they fall.
B.A walks into the room
The bigger they are, the harder they hit!
Face stole Rudi's wallet and shows him.
That's my wallet!
FaceThat's right (reads the ID-card in the wallet) Charles Winston ... Wait a minute. Charles Wins ... THE Charles Winston? You're Charlie the Clip?
You picked my pocket!
FaceNo, I can't believe it. I picked the pocket of Charlie the Clip. You know who this is? I studied every scam you've ever done. This is the guy who sold the Brooklyn- Bridge. To Brooklyn!
Hey, I couldn't help noticing that jacket's beginning to dry out and crack. Ever try tanning butter?
Only on pancakes. It tastes pretty yucky.
Huh?
But it did turn my tongue a nice shade of brown.
[to Face] Who is he?
FaceWell, uh, when we get on the plane you can sit next to him and if you figure it out, let us know.
[Murdock has just told Face that AJ Bancroft was his father]
FaceWhat kind of a friend are you?
Well it still might not be true. It's possible that he isn't your father.
FaceYeah, and it's possible he is. Why didn't you tell me Murdock, why? Why- why did you hide it from me?
Because AJ begged me not to tell you, and I said OK, but if he didn't tell you, then I would.
FaceI see, so you tell me now, huh, after he's dead. Well your timing stinks!
WELL HE WAS DYING! What do you want me to do?! It was a last request!
FaceOh, I see... Well, it's nice to know where your loyalties are. And who else have you told? Hannibal, BA, Frankie, the newspaper boy?
No no... Just you, me and... Stockwell knows.
FaceStockwell? You- you told Stockwell about my father but you can't tell me?! I swear, you know, I don't understand what motivates you. And you know something? You were always the one that I thought I could count on.
Well you still can count on me!
FaceOh really?! Now because of you I may have lost the only chance I had to find out who my father was. Did you think it wasn't important?
Face-
FaceAh, just leave me alone...
Listen, there's more to this story-
FaceJUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
[Face shoves Murdock to the ground. They stare at each other for a moment and Murdock gets up]
Good... good, good. You're perfectly clear about that. But let me tell you one thing. You remember when I was in the van and you caught me on the phone? And I told you I was talking to Erica and I asked you for your advice. I said someone had come to me and they told me something about Erica but they begged me not to tell her about it, I said what should I do, you said to trust your gut instinct! Well it wasn't Erica I was talking about. It was you! And you were wrong! And let me tell you this: If AJ had not died, and if he had the opportunity to tell you, right now, here by this tree, you would be thanking me for holding back and not telling!
FaceLook, Murdock-
No, don't say anything!... The one thing about you and me I've always liked... that's our fights. Because we don't have to... stumble over our lips... apologizing.
Check us in, the name is Robins.
FaceCome on Murdock, let's go.
Hey! Where you guys going huh? Whats happening?
FaceWell, if you were in a strange town and you need to find somebody, who do you ask?... Cab driver.
Ah. Yeah, but Stockwell said to stay right here and check in.
Well, that's great, that's great, you just do that, that's great
To B.A: come on
I've always thought of Johnny as some kind of ... Superman ya' know?
There ain't no body!
They don't always find a body B.A
Hey Frankie, do you know something we don't know? Why are you trying to convince us that Hannibal's dead?
I'm not! I'm just trying to face facts. Everything we've heard so far says that Johnny's not alive.
FaceFrankie, there's not a shred of hard evidence that says that he's dead.
Yeah, except that goon back there who says he was killed!
WELL YOU SHOULDN'T BE LISTENING TO GOONS!!!
Silent Pause
I'm, I'm sorry, i'm sorry. It's just that g- goons are not a very reliable source of information you know.
FaceYeah, see the bottom line here Frankie is that were not gonna believe Hannibal's dead until we get some proof.
If there's no body, then Hannibal is alive.
FaceI think the key to this whole mess is Bobby, that little peddycab peddler.
Yeah how come you haven't let Stockwell in on that one!?
Stockwell? Stockwell? Stockwell doesn't give a rats tail whether Hannibal is alive or dead!
You got that right crazy man.
'Stockwell walks into the room
O.K we're upgrading the status of this mission to Code Red. Now according to Colonel Smith's message, we've got 16 hours before the plutonium shipment changes hands. I have arranged for our friend back there to be picked up in a half an hour. So I want you to stay here until then.
FaceB.A and Frankie will uh, cover this end here for you, Murdock and I have something we've gotta check out.
No, you're not checking anything out until the prisoner is picked up. Then I want you to meet Alice and me at Hop Louies. Understood?
Pause
Is there a problem?
Yes. We do not believe that Hannibal is dead, General.
That's an interesting fantasy, but we don't deal in fantasies in this business.
Fantasy? Whoa, whoa, whoa wait just a minute here. This situation is NO FANTASY!
Orange juice, please. Shaken, not stirred. And I'd like a bottle of Dom Perignon '75.
My apologies monsieur but we are temporarily out of stock. Will '78 suffice?
Well I don't see why not.
I'll tell you why not, because '78 is an abomination. Try '71.
Except, I wouldn't wash my car with it. Try '71.
(Last lines of the show)
Just think: if we get a pardon, we may never have to eat a knuckle sandwich again!
I wouldn’t bet on it crazy man. Looks like Hannibal’s on the jazz again!
FaceOh no…
[to Hannibal] No, you tell me right now, you tell me right to my face, you tell me that you don’t have a plan.
Well, I...I was thinking, like Bernie and George. What are we gonna do when this thing’s over? I mean, what are we really qualified to do?
FaceGo after thugs in the park…
And outlaw motorcycle gangs…organized crime figures… why, there’s a world of slime-balls out there!
I knew it. I just knew you had a plan.
Comforting, isn’t it?
I'll get the van.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The A Team pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
