Stiles quotes from Teen Wolf

Stiles

Okay, I'm going to call my dad.

Lydia

I already called 911.

Stiles

You called the police before you called me?

Lydia

I'm supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?

Stiles

[screams] YES!

Scott

[about the dead body] Are you sure?

Stiles

[on phone] Yep. Throat ripped out, blood everywhere. It's like the frickin' Shining over here. If two little twin girls come out of the woods and start asking me to play with them forever and ever, I'm not gonna be surprised.

Lydia

You didn't have to follow me home.

Stiles

I just wanted to make sure you got in okay!

Lydia

...I had a police escort.

Stiles

[exasperatedly] I know the inner workings of that force, alright? They're not nearly as reliable as people think!

Scott

So, Boyd and Cora might not have killed anyone?

Stiles

[sighs] You're gonna wish they did.

Scott

Why?

Stiles

I'm not exactly sure yet. The other girl who was out in the woods, Emily? Eventually, they're going to find her. She's one of them. Emily, Heather, that guy Lydia found at the pool? All three were virgins. And they're all gonna have the same three injuries-- strangled, throat-slashed, head bashed in. It's called the three-fold death.

Scott

[stunned] So, if these aren't random killings, then what are they?

Stiles

Sacrifices. Human sacrifices.

Scott

[about Kyle] I looked everywhere. It's like he just walked away. Left his car, his dog...

Stiles

Okay, was he like-- could he have been a virgin, maybe? Did he look like a virgin? Was he, you know, virginal?

Scott

[sarcastically] No, definitely not. Deaton makes me have sex with all his clients. It's a new policy.

Stiles

[about Kyle] Missing and presumed dead, Scott, because he was probably a virgin. You know who else is a virgin? Me. I'm a virgin, okay? You know what that means? It means my lack of sexual experience is now literally a threat to my life, okay? I need to have sex. Like, right now. Someone needs to have sex with me, like, today. Like, someone needs to sex me right now!

Danny

[appears behind him] Alright! I'll do it.

Stiles

Whoa! What?

Danny

Come over to my place at nine. Plan on staying the night. I like to cuddle.

Stiles

That is so sweet. Are you kidding?

Danny

[rolls his eyes] Yes, I'm kidding!

Stiles

[disappointed] You don't toy with a guys emotions like that, Danny. It's not attractive, alright?

Scott

Well, he's got a point. Seriously, dude, human sacrifices?

Stiles

Scott, your eyes turn into yellow glow sticks, okay? Hair literally grows from your cheeks, and then will immediately disappear, and if I were to stab you right now, it would just magically heal, but you're telling me that you're having trouble grasping human sacrifices?

Stiles

Whoa! Hey, Boyd! I didn't know you were back at school.

Yeah. I would have told you, but... we're not actually friends.

Stiles

I'm just telling you everything you already know, aren't I? Then why aren't you telling us?

Maybe because when you've spent every moment of the last ten years trying to push something away-- denying it, lying about it-- it becomes a pretty powerful habit.

Stiles

We shouldn't have come. I knew it. We shouldn't have come.

Scott

We had to. There's safety in numbers.

Stiles

Well, there's also death in numbers, Scott-- it's called a massacre. [He looks the word up in his thesaurus] A bloodbath. Carnage. Slaughter. Butchery. Wow.

Lydia

What's wrong with him?

Stiles

What's wrong with him? I don't... do I have a Ph.D in Lycanthropy? How am I supposed to know that?

Stiles

Alright, so I have four.

Scott

Four? You have four suspects?

Stiles

Yeah, it was originally ten. Well, nine, technically, I guess-- I had Derek on there twice.

Scott

Every time I try to fight back, it just gets worse. People keep getting hurt. People keep getting killed.

Stiles

Scott, listen to me, okay? This isn't you, alright? This is someone inside your head telling you to do this. Okay? Now--

Scott

--What if it isn't? What if it is just me? What if doing this is actually the best thing that I could do for everyone else? It all started that night, the night I got bitten. You remember the way it was before that? You and me, we were-- we were-- we were nothing. We weren't popular. We weren't good at lacrosse. We weren't important. We were no one. Maybe I should just be no one again. No one at all.

Stiles

Scott, just listen to me, okay? You're not no one. Okay? Scott, you're my best friend. Okay? And I need you. Scott, you're my brother. Alright, so... So, if you're gonna do this, then... I think you're just gonna have to take me with you, then. Alright?

Lydia

I'm not a psychic.

Stiles

[exasperated] You're something!

Danny

[groggy and half-asleep] What are you doing?

Stiles

I'm not doing anything, Danny. This is just a dream that you're having.

Danny

Are you going through my stuff?

Stiles

Right, but only in the dream, remember? Dream. You're dreaming.

Danny

Why would I dream about you going through my stuff?

Stiles

I don't know that, Danny, okay? It's your dream. Take responsibility for it!