Taxi · Season 1
[Jim is taking his driver's test]
Psst. What does a yellow light mean?
Slow down.
OK. What... does... a... yellow... light... mean?
Slow down!
OK. Wwwwhhhaaaat dooeesss aaaa yyyeeeellllowwww lllliiiight mmmmeeeannn?
Slow down!
OK. Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat dddddddoooooooeeeeeesssssssss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllloooooooowwwwwwwww liiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhtt mmmmmeeeeeeaaaaaan?
[after getting out of the jacuzzi] I'm so relaxed I can't remember what tension and unhappiness feel like.
There's a mister Louie De Palma here to see you.
I just remembered.
Thanks so much Latka for sharing this with us.
You known in my country everyone shares with everyone.
Oh that's beautiful.
Otherwise they shoot you.
Louie, why don't you come and join the party?
No.
[Louie turns to leave]
Hey Louie! You'd make us all feel miserable if you did.
Okay.
[Louie sits down at a table]
Jim, what are you doing here? Where did this model castle come from?
It's yours, I made it for you. See Elaine, your fairy tale can come true. Look here's your castle, and your prince awaits. Elaine, I know I'm not the most glamorous guy in the world but...
You are truly a sweet decent man.
Once there was a time when that was enough.
I'm not really a cab driver. I'm just waiting for something better to come along. You know, like death.
I take him out for walks in the park everyday.
I imagine you must get some funny looks uh.
Well those poodle people have stopped acting like they own the place.
Listen. I'm gonna need some help in Tony's corner fight night. Now, any of you guys work a fight?
I was married.
Close enough.
This is it. This is where Benny Foster works out.
I'm kinda disappointed.
Why?
It's the ex champ's gym. I thought it would smell different or something. Be a little classier.
Are you kidding? The stalls in the bathroom, they got doors.
[to white haired man at the auction] You better hope you don't spend your golden years at Sunset Acres.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin the auction. Our first item today will be a painting by Wallace Litiger entitled, Nude at Daybreak.
Alright!
[an unidentifiable modern art painting is placed on display] My God I know her! She's dyed her hair but that's her.
[having put a quarter in the cigarette machine instead of the jukebox] They haven't played my cigarette yet!
Well, isn't this great, we've all learned something. Tony can't choose who his sister's gonna fall for, Monica can't choose who she's gonna fall for, and I think that I've learned the greatest lesson of all. I love being lifted.
You must be Louie.
How did you know my name?
I only had three people described to me. One was smart, one was good-looking, and one was you.
[to his now-overweight ex-wife, at their daughter's wedding] Remember, you haven't lost a daughter - you've gained a ton.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Taxi pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
