A character in Taxi
Played by Tony Danza
Taxi · 68 quotes
5th most-quoted character in Taxi: in 13 of its 68 quotes
Most scenes with: Alex Reiger (5), Louie (4), Reverend Jim (4)
TonyMaybe I won't be the first guy to make it out of the garage, but I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna get a rematch with this guy, and I'm gonna be right back here fightin'!
And I'm gonna be right back here managing you.
And I'm gonna be right here rootin' for ya.
And I'm gonna be here.
And I'm gonna be here.
And I'm gonna be here... makin' a fortune.
TonyAngela? From your answering service? Oh, she's a peach. One night she and I discussed my boxing career. Y'know, we never even met, and still we must have talked for around five minutes.
That's longer than most of your fights last.
I mean, I can't believe you. You wouldn't go out with a woman if she wasn't good looking?
Sure I would... if I was real drunk or somethin'.
TonyHey, c'mon, Elaine. Looks matter to women, too. How popular are short, pudgy, ugly men?
Yeah, how popular, Louie?
Y'know, Bobby, I hope someone slams a door on your nose and you sneeze and your head explodes.
TonyDo you remember what you said to your wife to break up with her?
Yeah, I remember what I said. I said, "Why is that man wearing my pajamas?"
[addressing all the cabbies at the Sunshine Cab Co] We're going to make a movie about cab drivers, and the reason we're here is, we want reality. Not Hollywood reality. We want real, reality. So we want to live with you guys. We want to eat with you and talk with you, and get inside your heads. Why don't you forget we're from Hollywood, and forget we're even making a movie. We're just some people who would like to find out what it's like to drive a cab. Now, anybody have any questions?
[Tony raises his arm enthusiastically]
Okay, you.
TonyHow'd they part the Red Sea in the Ten Commandments?
TonyThis is it. This is where Benny Foster works out.
I'm kinda disappointed.
Why?
It's the ex champ's gym. I thought it would smell different or something. Be a little classier.
TonyAre you kidding? The stalls in the bathroom, they got doors.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin the auction. Our first item today will be a painting by Wallace Litiger entitled, Nude at Daybreak.
TonyAlright!
[an unidentifiable modern art painting is placed on display] My God I know her! She's dyed her hair but that's her.
TonyEasy for you to say. You're not the one he spends tortured nights dreaming about.
He said that?
TonyNah, I'm just assuming.
[talking on the phone with his agent about a possible acting role] Yeah I understand. Thanks for calling.
[puts down the phone followed by a long pause with his head down]
TonyOh, come on already, the suspense is killing me! Did you get it or not?
Banta, sometimes I wish you were smarter just so you know how dumb you are!
Sorry but I can't let you quit because I wouldn't want you to let me quit. We've got a symbiotic relationship, Tony.
TonyHey Lucius, I don't know what you're getting at here. But I swear I'm not the least bit attracted to you.
TonyYou mean, they didn't tell you they were going to tear down your apartment building?
Well, you put up with a few minor inconveniences when you live in a condemned building.
Something terrible has just happened.
TonyWhat?
I forgot why I am doing this.
I bought Mario's. Signed the papers this morning and I've been running the place ever since.
TonyJim, Why Mario's?
You wouldn't believe what they were asking for Disney World.
Jim, Mario's has been on the skids for years. I mean mortuaries do better return business.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Taxi pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
