Reverend Jim quotes from Taxi

Reverend Jim

[having put a quarter in the cigarette machine instead of the jukebox] They haven't played my cigarette yet!

Reverend Jim

Well, isn't this great, we've all learned something. Tony can't choose who his sister's gonna fall for, Monica can't choose who she's gonna fall for, and I think that I've learned the greatest lesson of all. I love being lifted.

Reverend Jim

[as a traveling salesman] I'm "Fill in your name," but you can call me "Nickname."

Bobby

[helping Jim fill out the form for the driving test] Have you ever experienced loss of consciousness, hallucinations, dizzy spells, convulsive disorders, fainting, or periods of loss of memory?

Reverend Jim

Hasn't everyone?

Elaine

Put no.

Bobby

Mental illness or narcotic addiction?

Reverend Jim

That's a tough choice.

Elaine

Put no!

Bobby

OK, that's it! You're ready for the test.

Reverend Jim

I thought that was the test!

Reverend Jim

Psst. What does a yellow light mean?

Bobby

Slow down.

Reverend Jim

OK. What... does... a... yellow... light... mean?

Bobby

Slow down!

Reverend Jim

OK. Wwwwhhhaaaat dooeesss aaaa yyyeeeellllowwww lllliiiight mmmmeeeannn?

Bobby

Slow down!

Reverend Jim

OK. Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat dddddddoooooooeeeeeesssssssss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllloooooooowwwwwwwww liiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhtt mmmmmeeeeeeaaaaaan?

Elaine

Jim, what are you doing here? Where did this model castle come from?

Reverend Jim

It's yours, I made it for you. See Elaine, your fairy tale can come true. Look here's your castle, and your prince awaits. Elaine, I know I'm not the most glamorous guy in the world but...

Elaine

You are truly a sweet decent man.

Reverend Jim

Once there was a time when that was enough.

Reverend Jim

I take him out for walks in the park everyday.

Alex

I imagine you must get some funny looks uh.

Reverend Jim

Well those poodle people have stopped acting like they own the place.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin the auction. Our first item today will be a painting by Wallace Litiger entitled, Nude at Daybreak.

Tony

Alright!

Reverend Jim

[an unidentifiable modern art painting is placed on display] My God I know her! She's dyed her hair but that's her.

Elaine

Jim, you changed your name TO Ignatowski?

Reverend Jim

Yeah, you know... it was the 60s and everyone was changing their names to stuff like Sunshine, Free, Moon Unit...

Alex

Well Jim, why Ignatowski?

Reverend Jim

Say it backwards.

Bobby

Iskwotangi.

Reverend Jim

Uh oh, that's not even close to Starchild, is it?

Alex

It's so quiet up here you can hear yourself think.

Reverend Jim

I don't hear anything.

Alex

Jim, are you alright?

Reverend Jim

Yeah... who are you?

Alex

I'm Alex. We're friends, we work together.

Reverend Jim

What are we, lumberjacks?

Alex

No, we're cabdrivers.

Reverend Jim

I bet we don't do much business up here!

Reverend Jim

Ooh, there are a nice little surprise inside.

Louie

What are you talking about?

Reverend Jim

Well, I could be wrong, but I detect something in here that's a lot more powerful than oatmeal.

Bobby

We got to tell him that boxing, it destroys your brain, it damages your nervous system, and it leaves you a stumbling, disoriented, pathetic wreck.

Reverend Jim

And if that's what he wants, there are easier ways of getting there.

Reverend Jim

[as he hands out invitations] Bobby, do you spell your name with one "o" or two?

Bobby

One.

Reverend Jim

I'll get it right next time, "Booby".

Reverend Jim

I have dreams that come true.

Elaine

So you're psychic?

Reverend Jim

Yeah, yeah, I'm psychic. I didn't tell you guys about it before, because I didn't want you to think I was offbeat or something.