Alex Reiger quotes from Taxi

Elaine

Dress is optional... He means how we dress, not if we dress, right?

Alex

No, I don't think so.

Elaine

Why?

Alex

[showing Elaine his invitation] Yours is the only one that says that.

Alex

You aren't by any chance dating my father, are you?

Dating your father? [laughs] Alex, that's absurd!

Alex

Oh, thank you. That's a relief. I mean, that would be ludicrous, wouldn't it?

Oh, now listen. I think I know what happened. I have been seeing Joe, the guy that you were with here the other day. Someone obviously mistook him for your father.

Alex

Yeah, me and my mother.

He's turning the room into a shelter. Louie is determined to survive.

Alex

Oh yeah? Well I wish he'd put it for a vote.

Alex

You're considered a hero here. Don't you know that?

Latka

I am not a hero. I am a stinkbug.

Reverend Jim

I bought Mario's. Signed the papers this morning and I've been running the place ever since.

Tony

Jim, Why Mario's?

Reverend Jim

You wouldn't believe what they were asking for Disney World.

Alex

Jim, Mario's has been on the skids for years. I mean mortuaries do better return business.

Alex

Jim, you give a thousand bucks to Louie De Palma, you better be there to see that he gives it to somebody. Otherwise, he's going to pocket that money himself and lie about it.

Reverend Jim

Will you do that?

Louie

Of course.