Survivor Series quotes

Roddy Piper, you saw what happened! You tell me!

All right, man. It be a bad day in the WWF. They say anything can happen in the Survivor Series in the WWF, and it has. The Undertaker, the new WWF Champion, you Addams Family reject! I just saw Hogan down there, he got red in his eyes, he got hair on his teeth, screaming "Tunney! Tunney!" Where are you now, Tunney! You saw what happened. Oh, and Lurch's new-found friend, Cousin Itt, Ric Flair running down there. You're a real handy guy when someone's got his back turned! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! We're hearing the bell, Undertaker. Ding-dong! Flair, we're hearing the bell! As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to the Undertaker becoming the WWF Champ with the help of Ric Flair, ain't no different than David Duke becoming Prez. We hear the bells, and we be coming. Ding-dong.

Never in my life have I seen anything quite so disgusting! Quite so despicable. As a matter of fact Jack Tunney, It's a travesty! And I want to know what you're going to do about it.

Gene, not withstanding what actually occurred this evening in the gravest challenge, the referee's decision is final.

That's wrong!

And cannot be challenged by me. However, it is well within my authority to order a rematch at the earliest possible date. Therefore, it is my decision that the Undertaker meet Hulk Hogan in a rematch for the World Wrestling Federation title this Tuesday in Texas.

Amen.

And furthermore, I will physically be at ringside to ensure a fair and just outcome.

President Jack Tunney, you have acted very quickly. I know it's a difficult decision but I certainly concur and look forward to this Tuesday night.

I have trouble telling the Beverly's apart.

Beau's the one with the blond hair.

What a night this is for me. And tomorrow, I'm having a bunch of guests over to my home in Beverly Hills, turkey for everyone, only 8 bucks a head at the door.

Marty Jannetty, in picking up one of the Nasty Boys, accidentally kicked his own partner right in the face with the legs of the Nasty Boy. Shawn really bent out of shape here, furious with Marty Jannetty, and Marty Jannetty saying...Marty doesn't even know what happened.

Well, I'll tell you, it's like I was reading in WWF Magazine, there's dissension between the Rockers. You know, they've hated each other...

They did not! Will you stop, that's not true!

They don't get along at all! They're both prima donnas!

They are not!

The rumors about them are true!

What rumors?

That they can't stand each other, in the World Wrestling Federation Magazine. Don't you read that publication?! I have my own column in it, I read it every month!

All you do is look at the pictures! I don't think you can read!

Well, it's all gonna happen This Tuesday in Texas, Brain. The big one. Newly crowned World Wrestling Federation Champion, the Undertaker, his first title defense against the former Champion, the Hulkster. What an opportunity for him to become 4-time, unprecedented, holder of the WWF Title.

Is that gonna be something, when they play that "Real American" music, and he walks to the ring without the belt?

And also, the Macho Man Randy Savage...

Oh, yeah, with Elizabeth.

...back inside the ring to face Jake "The Snake" Roberts. [Checking headset] What's that? Yes? Oh, we have found, we have located...

[checking his headset] Hello?

Mean Gene Okerlund, we understand he has found the Undertaker. [Bobby takes out his headset and picks up the phone] Gene Okerlund, where are you?

I'm not quite certain, Gorilla Monsoon. However, I must say I feel very uncomfortable here in the catacombs, in the bowels, if you will, of Joe Louis Arena where I have finally found the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, the Undertaker. Manager Paul Bearer, you cannot be happy with the decision of President Jack Tunney ordering the rematch This Tuesday in Texas with your man, the Undertaker, facing the Immortal Hulk Hogan.

Oh, Mr. Okerlund, nothing is immortal, not even Hulkamania. Hulkamania died right here this very evening, oh yes. And normally, Mr. Okerlund, when something dies, you hold the services almost immediately, but not in the case of Hulkamania. We'll hold him over, yes, right in the embalming room of my funeral parlor. And sometime between now and Tuesday, we will eviscerate him. Oh, yes. Eviscerate his bluing flesh. Oh, that stench.

We warned you what was in store for Hulk Hogan. And now, Mr. Okerlund, let me enlighten you what we have in store for Hulkamania. [Opens the coffin] Look into the coffin. Look, Mr. Okerlund. Look. Hulkamania, it died at Survivor Series. Now, the only thing left is this Tuesday. [Closes the lid] The burial.

Allow me to introduce my perfect tag team partner: Mr. Perfect, oooohhh yeahhhh!!!

Take a look at this, Bobby Heenan!

This is turning my stomach.

Come on! Where is he? Where's Mr. Perfect? Where's the Macho Man's tag team partner?

He took a hike!

He to... [Perfect enters] There he is!

There he is, that no good backstabbing ingrate! Oh, you're gonna get it! You're gonna get it good!

Perfect, you chew that gum with that arrogant smug look, but you may never see Thanksgiving tomorrow! You dirty, no good, rotten, lowlife, poor excuse for a human being! Razor, cut him up! Flair, slap that figure-four on and break both legs! They're not perfect, that's what's perfect! Savage, you picked yourself a loser. Listen to these humanoids — the audacity of them to cheer on a...shows you what society has come to.

Think about the Macho Man and the only perfect athlete in the WWF together.

What do you mean "the only perfect athlete"?

You've said it many times before, I'm quoting you.

Well, I thought he was! But to be a perfect athlete, you have to be a perfect man, a man of integrity! When he turned on me, Flair and Ramon, he showed me so! He's not perfect!

That doesn't take anything away from his athletic prowess, does it?

I believe it does!

With me now, the reigning Intercontinental Champion, Shawn Michaels. During the past month, we have witnessed an incredible turn of events in your life. Conspicuous by her absence, your manager Sensational Sherri, who right now is recovering from injuries she suffered during a confrontation you had with Marty Jannetty, and many believe it pushed you to save yourself to pull Sensational Sherri in front of...

[interrupting] That's a lie, that...is a bald-faced lie.

Nonetheless, without your manager, less than two weeks ago, you captured the Intercontinental Title from what seemed to be an invincible British Bulldog, Davey Boy Smith. And tonight, here at the Survivor Series, you face a man many believe is the greatest scientific wrestler of all time, Bret "The Hitman" Hart. And he is indeed a fighting champion. During his short tenure, he has defended the title more than any man in World Wrestling Federation history.

You wanna talk history there, Sean Mooney? Let's talk a little history. Who is the man that beat Bret Hart at SummerSlam for the Intercontinental Title?

The British Bulldog.

That's right. Now, who is the man that defeated the British Bulldog—quite easily, I might add—to become the new WWF Intercontinental Champion?

Well, you did, everyone knows...

That's right, me. Now, for all you mathematical geniuses out there, 1 and 1 make 2. Two belts. See, when I signed for this match, Hitman, I knew I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your belt's on the line, mine stays right here. So tonight, all over the world, the last thing the people will hear is, "ladies and gentlemen, Shawn Michaels, the Intercontinental Champion...and new World Wrestling Federation Champion, has left the building."

All right, we have just heard from challenger, Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels. With me right now, the World Wrestling Federation Champion himself, Bret "the Hitman" Hart, bringing his scientific knowledge here to the Survivor Series. Bret Hart, I vividly recall recently up in your home country in Canada, Saskatoon, you defeated the Nature Boy Ric Flair and made World Wrestling Federation history. You did it with your patented, painful leg submission hold, the Sharpshooter. Since that time, you've embarked on a most ambitious series of title defenses. You've said "no" to no one; you've taken on all comers. I recall in two and a half week span of time, you met and defeated—get this lineup—the Mountie, the Berzerker, Rick "The Model" Martel, big Papa Shango. Most recently, you defeated Virgil. You did it with the Sharpshooter. Tonight, this title—your title, Bret Hart—the World Wrestling Federation Title is on the line as you meet Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels.

You know, Gene, Survivor Series and Thanksgiving have always been held in real close association. And everybody around the world knows that Thanksgiving is maybe the most special day for giving thanks. And nobody knows more about giving thanks than I do. As I stand before you right now, being the World Wrestling Federation champion, took me a long time to get this far, Gene. And Shawn Michaels, it's not about giving thanks for surviving one night. It's like surviving eight and a half years. That's what I've been doing, Shawn Michaels. I've been surviving a long time. I started out on the bottom, Shawn Michaels, of the World Wrestling Federation, I started out taking on everybody, clawing and fighting my way to the top, fighting my way through injuries, pain, all kinds of opponents. All kinds of shapes and sizes. And it didn't matter who it was, Shawn Michaels, I went through the tag teams, I went through the Intercontinental. But you know, Shawn Michaels, I've won a few, I've lost a few. But I'm right now, I'm at the highest. I am the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and I am proud of it. Shawn Michaels, you're a great wrestler, you got all kinds of great moves. And I got nothing but respect for you. You're gonna be a great Intercontinental Champion. But Shawn Michaels, tonight we're gonna find out who's gonna survive as the World Wrestling Federation champion. And the Excellence of Execution is feeling pretty excellent tonight.

[as Shawn Michaels tries to grab Bret Hart's hair] You can't yank that hair. 65 pounds of oil in it.

He is on fire. He's white hot. This man is hot.

The Hitman Bret Hart is indeed, I agree with you.

You bet. No, I'm talking about Shawn Michaels! Don't you ever pay attention to me?

You know why the Kid's not doing well? Look at the time! Its half an hour past his bed time!

That's surviving, McMahon.

Pardon me, that's cheating.

Well, cheating and surviving go hand in hand.