[Promotional vignette featuring Stone Cold Steve Austin with interwoven voiceovers]
Pink tights, what the hell is that all about, Bret?
(This ain't no ballet class.)
Sunglasses and sparklers... what a load of crap!
So, Bret, you're coming back to continue a legacy?
Stone Cold's gonna make your comeback a livin' hell!
No, you can start begging for mercy right now...
(You will beg for mercy.)
You're not gonna find it!
I think you're completely pathetic.
You're the "best there is", "was" and "ever will be", whatever.
Son, you're looking at the best there is.
Bret, the whole world knows that you quit because you lost to Shawn Michaels.
The "boy toy", kicked your ass back to Canada!
You couldn't face yourself, and you damn sure couldn't face your family!
You should have picked another time to come back, son...
When the bell rings and it's time to get down to business...
...I'm gonna take seven years of frustration and being pissed off out on your ass!
Think about it like this, Bret; you can finally go home, look yourself in the mirror... and get a little peace of mind, because you will know that you were indeed beat by a real man!
Phineas, climbing the rope. [Marty Jannetty shoves Phineas Godwinn off] There you go.
Phineas is gonna attempt a suplex. Now, how stupid is that? He's 6'7" and 300 pounds, stay on the mat! [Marty tries to elbow-drop Phineas, but misses] And make a tag! Poor old Phineas, I don't know. Those three years he spent in the fourth grade, I just don't think set well with him.
MMankind
Don't worry, Uncle Paul. Think back to Buried Alive, think back to, with his last dying gasp, how the Undertaker came to life. It doesn't bother me! Because I know, whatever form you take, Undertaker, you'll be crawling with your gasping breaths down the aisle at Madison Square Garden! And I will stomp you like the cockroaches I used to call dinner. And just like those lovely insects, at Survivor Series, Undertaker, I'm gonna eat you alive! Have a nice day!
Here comes the bizarre one with Marlena.
No, it's Marlena, followed by Goldust. Get it straight, big guy. Any self-respecting woman lets her man follow her.
You don't smoke though, do you?
Oh God, no. I'm allergic, asthmatic...absolutely horrible. I'm as innocent and pure as I look.
Well, anyway, so much for truth in broadcasting.
[as Hunter Hearst-Helmsley enters] Wait a minute, something's wrong here. It doesn't look right, he's missing something there. What's going on? Wait, wait, wait, there's no girl, there's no woman.
He's more than perfect, too.
Wow. Wins the gold, loses the chick? What's the deal with that?
That's one word for it; stupid's another.
Why would he want to have a woman with him at ringside anyway? What purpose would it serve in this matchup?
Wait a minute, who are you asking here, Jim Ross?
Well, you're the only woman sitting here...
Listen, I make a living out of being at ringside with men and telling them what to do and...hey, if I feel like it, I'll tell you what to do too. So why don't you just sit there, Chubby, and be quiet.
Okay, thank you very much.
[to Vince, putting up her dukes] You're gonna have to hold me back. I've had it. I've had it with him already, it's been, like, two minutes.
It's only begun, let's get along, all right? JR, don't be, you know...
Well, I'll try to... I'll lower my standards so I'll get on her level, no problem.
[on Sable] I think she's the most beautiful woman in the WWF.
Yeah, I am... don't I have a right to my own opinion?
Listen, I've had a bikini spread in Raw Magazine, and so has she, and I blew her away and everybody knows it. And I can do it again.
You did what?! You did what?!
Just give me the chance. Give me the page of Raw Magazine, and I can show you that I can blow her away!
Whoa, what a display of fireworks for the Wildman and Sable, ladies and gentlemen. And the fireworks just ready to begin here in the tag team elimination matchup. The Wildman is something else. Talk about a risk taker, JR.
You know, she'd better watch out with those pyrotechnics. I heard about those things that she's implanted are flammable.
And you would know a lot about that, right?
Excuse me?! I am 100% natural all the way down to the roots of my hair.
And as well as pure and innocent, you made that point earlier on.
You and Dolly Parton are all natural.
Oh, please, you're just jealous.
Here is your winner: Rocky Maivia!
Oh my God, I feel like my name should be Adrian!
What a way to make your debut, with a big show in the Big Apple at the Survivor Series!
What a dream come true for this first third-generation WWF superstar! And how proud is Rocky Johnson and his mom? How proud are Mom and Dad sitting in Florida, watching this on pay-per-view, JR.
They've gotta be loving this, Grandma watching in Hawaii, and I'm sure the High Chief is looking on with a big smile on his face.
Well you know, I'm proud of him too, and I haven't even gotten a chance to seduce him yet.
The Hitman Bret Hart has met his match, JR.
Oh, absolutely. You know what, I'll tell you something. I don't know... Austin... I don't know what they're going to... what are you going to do to beat this man. [Austin slaps the Million Dollar Dream onto Bret] Wait a minute, there's the Million Dollar Dream.
Yes, sleeper applied on Bret Hart. Let's see what the Hitman can do. [Bret kicks off of the top rope, toppling onto Austin. Referee Tim White counts to three] Unbelievable!
Here is your winner: Bret "Hitman" Hart!
[over Howard's announcement] Austin wouldn't let go of the hold! Austin didn't let go of the Million Dollar Dream, and it cost him the victory! Bret Hart countered Austin's own maneuver!
You wanna talk about someone who knows all the ropes. Well the Hitman, Bret Hart just taught Steve Austin a move and some of the ropes, the likes of which he's never ever seen before.