Pay me one billion dollars, and I'll kill Superman!
[laughs] What makes you think you can kill Superman when you can't even handle a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?
[grabs him angrily] There's nothing "mere" about that mortal!
S2 E16World's Finest
Ceasar Carlini, my old pal! Why I haven't seen you since... Wait, I've never seen you, have I? You need to get out more.
CCarlini
Who is this clown?
Oh, not clown. Joker [Flips his card at the table, which imbeds itself]
I hear Wayne's deal with Lexcorp could run into the billions. He's a high roller.
I hear he's nothing but Gotham trash. Rich, spoiled, and... [Bruce Wayne walks off the plane] Absolutely gorgeous!
So he just appears when there's trouble? No special signal?
He's not like your Batman, thank goodness!
Then how do you contact him?
Committing a felony helps. Listen, you seem awfully interested in Superman. Do you want me to fix you two up?
The joint chiefs have shown tremendous interest. It doesn't take much imagination to envision these robots on the battlefield.
Except... I won't allow it.
What?
I don't like guns. Blame it on me, Lex. Tell your pals at the Pentagon... I just don't have the imagination.
So just keep your ears open. Let me know if you hear any buzz about the Joker.
Sure thing, Mr. Kent. Uh.. but, uh, which one? There's lots of jokers around here.
Where's the Joker?
BBinko
Who knows? Making 'ha-ha' with Harley Quinn? [Batman shoves him hard against the door] I don't know, honest! I never went back after he muscled in. I want nothing to do with that clown!
[Arrives, putting his hand on Batman's arm] That's enough. I think you got your answer. [Batman grabs Superman's arm and throws him onto a table. While he's distracted, Binko runs off. Batman turns to go after him, but Superman body-checks him into the wall, dazing Batman]
I heard you were crazy. I didn't think you were stupid. [uses X-ray vision to see through Batman's cowl] Bruce Wayne?
You peeked.
I won't have vigilantism in my town.
[Secretly taking a small bag out of his belt] You'll be rid of me...as soon as I find the Joker.
That may not be soon enough. [Batman holds up the small bag, which contains a piece of kryptonite. Superman groans and starts to back away]
It doesn't take much, does it? The Joker has 20 pounds more where this came from. Thought you might like to know. [Tosses the bag into a glass of water. Superman looks at it, then turns and sees Batman is gone]
Swell, now Gotham is sending us their wackos.
You realize she's just the bait.
I'll be careful.
Careful won't cut it. With Joker, expect the unexpected.
Maybe you should have remembered that.
See that he's street pizza! In this town, some flying fool could've caught him!
[Clark returns to his apartment after his confrontation with Batman, where he discovered that he's Bruce Wayne. After a phone call to Lois, he notices a small bat transmitter on his cape. He looks out his window, and sees, in the distance, Batman watching through binoculars, showing that he now knows Clark is Superman. Batman waves and leaves.]
Touché.
Clark, keep an eye on Bruce, will you? I'll be right back.
Actually, Lois-
Don't be intimidated. Regale him with madcap tales of the nightlife in Smallville. [Leaves]
She never stops, does she?
Not that I've noticed. [Quietly] Any luck finding the comedian?
[In Batman voice] Three nights, and not so much as a green hair.
Of course, you have been dividing your time between work and Lois.
Is that a problem?
Let's just say I'm concerned. Your reputation is... dubious, in and out of costume.
Don't worry, I'm taking Lois quite seriously. [leans down] Besides, it seems to me you had your chance.
[Superman busts into a Lexcorp lab]
More powerful than a locomotive...and just about as subtle. [Superman steps out of the shadows, wearing a lead suit] Ooo! I'm flattered that you put on your Sunday best!
[When Superman, unaffected by Joker's kryptonite thanks to his lead suit, forces Joker to take him to Lois] I don't understand! I had it all planned so perfectly...Oh, wait! That's it!
What?
Silly me! I forgot the ACID! [Sprays acid from his carnation onto Superman. The acid melts away half of the lead suit. Joker then throws the kryptonite at Superman's chest. Superman collapses. Joker cackles] Aw, what's the matter, Suppy? [Kicks Superman over] No more steam left in the old locomotive?
Honestly Lex, don't you think I feel bad enough already?
[Angrily grabs him] YOU MANIAC! YOU IDIOT! HOW DARE YOU USE ONE OF MY LABORATORIES FOR YOUR...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Superman: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.