I need to make sure every department is happy. I can't do that alone.
Well, that's where I come in. Everybody loves me.
[from outside office] Not real estate.
There was a thing once...with a guy. With a couple of guys. But anywhere else-
No, contracts thinks you're a dick. Their word, not mine.
I am tied in, Harvey. There are a lot of underbelly things that I can tell you, but trust me, this is not one of them. Even Norma knows.
People just don't like that he's right all the time.
What's his standing in bankruptcy?
Excellent. I think. We don't do a lot of work with bankruptcy.
Remind me to give you a raise.
Whoa! [pulls record off shelf] Come on. The Spinners? Really?
For your information, The Spinners were one of the defining pop bands of their time.
Oh. Oh wow, sorry. Yeah, that's cool, like, like uh the Jonas Brothers, or Hanson, or NSync, or Selena Gomez. Yeah.
C'mere lippy, I want to show you something.
Oh yeah, what? You got Bieber fever?
[knock at file room door]
Kevin, trusts and estates?
No, it's too meek. It's gotta be a woman. Who is it?
Harold. I need a stapler.
And then I take the shuttle to Grand Central, and then I take the local from there. I think you'll find that...pleasurable, actually.
[enters conference room] Sorry, restroom.
No, that's okay. This is my associate, Mike Ross. He was busy, uh, drafting some pertinent documents. Motion to dismiss, motion to compel, motion to strike, motion to change venue, and we have another half dozen in the pipeline.
DFDurham Foods Attorney
What is this? This was supposed to be a settlement conference.
Oh, we're not here to settle. We're proceeding to trial.
DFDurham Foods Attorney
You want to take this case to trial?
Um, unless I can't hear the sound of my own voice, I believe that's what I just frickin' said.
DFDurham Foods Attorney
We're the little guy. Your parent company's a behemoth. A jury's gonna hate you.
Well, thanks to your disgusting smears in the media, that might be true, which is why we're also filing a countersuit for libel, slander, and anything else that might be appropriate in this case.
DFDurham Foods Attorney
This is - you got- this is not good faith, Mr. Litt.
Sir, you have besmirched the good name of Liquid Water, and if you think that we're here for a settlement conference, well, let me just correct that one for you right now. We are not settling. We will not be settling. In fact, the only thing that's settling here is the sediment at the bottom of your putrid water. Get me? Now be sure to take that Grand Central shuttle like I told you, okay? I think you're gonna love it.
I need a list of everything that's wrong with the rehearsal space. For example, the creaky floorboards, they're affecting certain dancers' attitudes.
Oh, they shouldn't let that get them down.
Oh, yeah, like striking an attitude. Whatever, I do that all the time.
Okay. I also need a list of the ballet company principals.
Okay, um, integrity, fidelity, patriotism-
Not that kind of principle.
How am I supposed to know?
Rachel, you've just been drafted.
Oh, but she's not even a-
Not what? She's not what, Harold? Ms. Zane not only knows more about ballet than you do, she also knows more about law.
What is it about ballet? I just- I don't get it, you know? There's no words, there's no story, there's no action. It's just all [jumps in air] and [jumps] and like [jumping in air, arms flailing as Louis walks up]... I don't... [Rachel clears throat] Please tell me that Louis isn't behind me.
Louis isn't behind you. Hi.
Penelope Cruz, Zoe Saldana, Audrey Hepburn, what do they all have in common?
No, dumbass. They all owe their success to ballet because it gives them discipline and grace, it embodies our emotions, it's breathtaking in its beauty, and most importantly, it expresses what cannot be put into words. You want to get ahead here, Harold? Take ballet, because right now, the only thing that's breathtaking about you can easily be put into words: nothing. Now relevé your ass back to work.
What happened with Judge Fullman?
There might be a slight problem.
Why do you assume I did something?
We went to law school together, and I got her drunk.
So she woke up in front of the entire con law class.
She might have been naked.
Come on, Harvey. She was uptight. I just straightened her out. It's what you do with uptight people.
Well why don't you ever do that to Louis?
That was you? He blamed me.
You can be uptight sometimes too. That's why I let him think it was you.
It's okay, I deserved it.
Do you remember when he was so mad when his cat peed in the corner of his office?
Harvey: Donna, I need you.
Donna: Need?
Harvey: Need.
Donna: Well, what about Jessica?
Harvey: Already signed off?
Donna: How did you get her do that?
Harvey: Because I told her I can't be me without you.
Donna: No you didn't.
Harvey: Well I thought it, and she knows it.
Donna: Ok, I will come back on two conditions. One is, you replace that check with a bigger one.
Harvey: [pulls out envelope] …and the other?
