Harvey Specter quotes from Suits

Harvey

Is that the same crack advice you gave Brockton Cosmetics and Drake Consulting and Nappi LLC? Because none of those companies exist anymore.

Harvey

You know what, that's the difference between us, Alison. You want to lose small, I want to win big.

Harvey

Donna. We're gonna need to streamline this. Give each guy a hard time before you send them back. Give me a wink if they say something clever. Cool?

Donna

Okay. What are you looking for?

Harvey

Another me.

Harvey

Mike.

Mike

Hey. Who's ready for a great first day?

Harvey

I'm gonna have to let you go.

Mike

What?

Harvey

I just got reamed for lying to a client and if they find I out that I lied about you going to Harvard, they'll take away my license.

Donna

[Through intercom] You what?

Harvey

Not now, Donna! Look, I have to put my own interests above yours. It's nothing personal. You're fired.

Mike

Wait, so you're worried that if I stay, then they might find out that you lied about me and you'll lose your license, but if you fire me, then I could tell them that you lied about me and you'd definitely lose your license.

Harvey

Are you telling me that if I throw you under the bus, you're gonna drag me with you?

Mike

You put your interests above mine, I m-, I'm just putting mine back up next to yours.

Harvey

You're rehired.

Mike

Wire transfer from your account to Joanna Webster's. Phone records with Joanna Webster prior to her testimony. And, an affidavit stating you paid Ms. Webster to falsely testify. Mr. Hunt, harassment is a civil violation; the penalty is money. But witness tampering, that's a crime. And you will go to prison, where I guarantee you'll learn more about unwanted sexual advances than you can possibly imagine.

Do you think this is going to intimidate me? Even if this evidence was credible, who you gonna get to prosecute a small time witness tampering charge, huh?

Mike

Harvey, didn't you graduate law school with the current US attorney in New York?

Harvey

In fact I did, and I think he might even be interested in pursuing a case like this.

Mike

Wait, are you two still close?

Harvey

Well, I was the best man at his wedding.

Mike

Wow.

No you weren't. You're bluffing.

Harvey

No. I think I've got some pictures, of us at the ceremony. Let's see...yep! Here we are, must admit, I look very dashing. This is me and his mother; the woman adored me. Here we are at his bachelor party. There were no strippers. It was lame. But he can't put guys like you away for sexual harassment and go to strip clubs now, can he?

Harvey

Forget it. When I first started, Jessica rode me so hard I quit once a month. I just told you what you needed to hear.

Mike

Did you really quit when you first started?

Harvey

Of course not. I'm not a wuss.

Donna

I'm not some token you win at a fair, Louis.

Louis

You're-. I know you're not. You're not a token.

Donna

I'm a human being and I-.

Louis

Yes, you are.

Donna

[fake sobs] I'm sorry, I just… You know that just made me feel really…cheap.

Louis

No, I'm just trying to tell you that you're really good at what you do, Donna. So I'm gonna ask you-.

Donna

It's like my soul…hurts now.

Louis

Noooo, Donna listen. Even if your soul hurts a little bit-.

Donna

[fake sobs and cries] I'm sorry.

Louis

It's okay. It's gonna be fine. Don't cry. Please don't cry, Donna. Oh shit. [flees]

Donna

I think I owe you one for that. That was fun.

Harvey

Wait a second…That time that…you cried and then I let your parents…stay in my condo?

Donna

Yup!

Mike

That woman with Rachel, I took the LSATs for her a couple years ago. If she saw me, she could blow my cover.

Harvey

Oh, really? And how would that go? 'Excuse me, when I was cheating for my LSATs, that was the guy who took the test for me'? Come on.

Harvey

Scottie.

Harvey.

Oh, you two know each other.

We went to Harvard Law together. Harvey was fifth in the class and I was- Oh, I forget. What was it?

Harvey

Married to the library?

That's right. Number one.

Donna

How’d the negotiation go? You come out on top?

Harvey

Why didn’t you tell me Scottie was opposing counsel?

Donna

I didn’t want you to have performance anxiety. About the case. She’s tough.

Harvey

You’re obvious.

Donna

And your fly is unzipped.

Harvey

No, it isn’t.

Donna

But it was earlier today.

Harvey

You can do better.

Donna

Ooh, is that what Scottie said?

Mike

Nothing, you guys are like two sides of the same coin.

Harvey

What are you saying, he's another me? No one is another me.

Mike

I mean, you told Donna I was another you.

Harvey

I never said that.

Mike

You said you were looking for another you, and then you hired me, so see how that works? Logic.

Harvey

He's coming back, and people are going to have to choose sides.

Mike

Can I choose his side?

Harvey

Sure. Support a man you never met over a partner who knows you never went to Harvard, knows you're not really a lawyer, and is keeping you on anyway.

Mike

Jessica it is.

Jessica

Did you want something?

Louis

Yes. Chain of command is everything to me. If I don't know who to answer to, I might as well be living naked on a kibbutz in the middle of Africa.

Harvey

An option worth considering, though we'd miss you. [mouths silently] Not really.

Jessica

I need to make sure every department is happy. I can't do that alone.

Harvey

Well, that's where I come in. Everybody loves me.

Donna

[from outside office] Not real estate.

Harvey

There was a thing once...with a guy. With a couple of guys. But anywhere else-

Donna

No, contracts thinks you're a dick. Their word, not mine.

Jessica

Why don't you join us?

Donna

Oh, thanks. Love to.

Jessica

Taxes?

Donna

Oh...no.

Jessica

Mergers?

Donna

Hate him.

Harvey

But I-

Donna

Didn't work.

Harvey

Really?

Donna

I am tied in, Harvey. There are a lot of underbelly things that I can tell you, but trust me, this is not one of them. Even Norma knows.

Jessica

What?

Donna

People just don't like that he's right all the time.

Harvey

You think I like it?

Jessica

What's his standing in bankruptcy?

Donna

Excellent. I think. We don't do a lot of work with bankruptcy.

Harvey

Remind me to fire you.

Jessica

Remind me to give you a raise.

Mike

Whoa! [pulls record off shelf] Come on. The Spinners? Really?

Harvey

For your information, The Spinners were one of the defining pop bands of their time.

Mike

Oh. Oh wow, sorry. Yeah, that's cool, like, like uh the Jonas Brothers, or Hanson, or NSync, or Selena Gomez. Yeah.

Harvey

C'mere lippy, I want to show you something.

Mike

Oh yeah, what? You got Bieber fever?