Donna. We're gonna need to streamline this. Give each guy a hard time before you send them back. Give me a wink if they say something clever. Cool?
Okay. What are you looking for?
Another me.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Rick Sorkin. [Louder] Rick Sorkin.
[Mike runs by and stops in the doorway, he coughs.]
[To Mike] Rick Sorkin? Excuse me, Mr. Sorkin, you are five minutes late, is there a reason why I should let you in?
Look-, look, I'm just trying to ditch the cops, okay? I don't-, I don't really care if you let me in or not.
[Donna looks through to Harvey and winks.]
Mr. Specter will be right with you.
What?
Mike.
Hey. Who's ready for a great first day?
I'm gonna have to let you go.
What?
I just got reamed for lying to a client and if they find I out that I lied about you going to Harvard, they'll take away my license.
[Through intercom] You what?
Not now, Donna! Look, I have to put my own interests above yours. It's nothing personal. You're fired.
Wait, so you're worried that if I stay, then they might find out that you lied about me and you'll lose your license, but if you fire me, then I could tell them that you lied about me and you'd definitely lose your license.
Are you telling me that if I throw you under the bus, you're gonna drag me with you?
You put your interests above mine, I m-, I'm just putting mine back up next to yours.
You're rehired.
Wire transfer from your account to Joanna Webster's. Phone records with Joanna Webster prior to her testimony. And, an affidavit stating you paid Ms. Webster to falsely testify. Mr. Hunt, harassment is a civil violation; the penalty is money. But witness tampering, that's a crime. And you will go to prison, where I guarantee you'll learn more about unwanted sexual advances than you can possibly imagine.
HMr. Hunt
Do you think this is going to intimidate me? Even if this evidence was credible, who you gonna get to prosecute a small time witness tampering charge, huh?
Harvey, didn't you graduate law school with the current US attorney in New York?
In fact I did, and I think he might even be interested in pursuing a case like this.
Wait, are you two still close?
Well, I was the best man at his wedding.
Wow.
HMr. Hunt
No you weren't. You're bluffing.
No. I think I've got some pictures, of us at the ceremony. Let's see...yep! Here we are, must admit, I look very dashing. This is me and his mother; the woman adored me. Here we are at his bachelor party. There were no strippers. It was lame. But he can't put guys like you away for sexual harassment and go to strip clubs now, can he?
Forget it. When I first started, Jessica rode me so hard I quit once a month. I just told you what you needed to hear.
[later that day]
Did you really quit when you first started?
Of course not. I'm not a wuss.
RRay
You are so beautiful when you're forceful.
I know you meant that as a compliment, but I don’t appreciate limitations being placed on my beauty.
[after Louis wins a wager and tries to temporarily gain Donna as his secretary]
I'm not some token you win at a fair, Louis.
You're-. I know you're not. You're not a token.
I'm a human being and I-.
Yes, you are.
[fake sobs] I'm sorry, I just… You know that just made me feel really…cheap.
No, I'm just trying to tell you that you're really good at what you do, Donna. So I'm gonna ask you-.
It's like my soul…hurts now.
Noooo, Donna listen. Even if your soul hurts a little bit-.
[fake sobs and cries] I'm sorry.
It's okay. It's gonna be fine. Don't cry. Please don't cry, Donna. Oh shit. [flees]
I think I owe you one for that. That was fun.
Wait a second…That time that…you cried and then I let your parents…stay in my condo?
Yup!
That woman with Rachel, I took the LSATs for her a couple years ago. If she saw me, she could blow my cover.
Oh, really? And how would that go? 'Excuse me, when I was cheating for my LSATs, that was the guy who took the test for me'? Come on.
Scottie.
SScottie
Harvey.
JJones
Oh, you two know each other.
SScottie
We went to Harvard Law together. Harvey was fifth in the class and I was- Oh, I forget. What was it?
Married to the library?
SScottie
That's right. Number one.
How’d the negotiation go? You come out on top?
Why didn’t you tell me Scottie was opposing counsel?
I didn’t want you to have performance anxiety. About the case. She’s tough.
You’re obvious.
And your fly is unzipped.
No, it isn’t.
But it was earlier today.
You can do better.
Ooh, is that what Scottie said?
Nothing, you guys are like two sides of the same coin.
What are you saying, he's another me? No one is another me.
I mean, you told Donna I was another you.
I never said that.
You said you were looking for another you, and then you hired me, so see how that works? Logic.
Mike, let's go. In my office now.
JJimmy
Oh, damn, Mike. Tell me you didn't leak the documents, man. Are you our Benedict Arnold?
Benedict Arnold, nice reference. You helping your high school girlfriend with her homework again?
JJimmy
Okay, not cool, Mike. You know Darla's in community college.
Why would Louis betray the firm?
I don't know, maybe he's still upset that he got passed over for senior partner and he leaked the list before he jumped ship.
Mike, Louis is a lot of things, but he's not a traitor. That man bleeds Pearson Hardman. He's probably wearing Pearson Hardman underwear right now.
I went to the tennis club with him. Trust me, he doesn't wear underwear.
He's coming back, and people are going to have to choose sides.
Can I choose his side?
Sure. Support a man you never met over a partner who knows you never went to Harvard, knows you're not really a lawyer, and is keeping you on anyway.
Jessica it is.
Did you want something?
Yes. Chain of command is everything to me. If I don't know who to answer to, I might as well be living naked on a kibbutz in the middle of Africa.
An option worth considering, though we'd miss you. [mouths silently] Not really.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Suits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.