“Nevada Day, Part 2” quotes from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Harriet

Young girls attend these events. They admire me. I'm in a position to show them that Christianity has a nicer voice than Ann Coulter's.

Jordan

Carol Channing has a nicer voice than Ann Coulter's.

Jordan

[answering her cell phone] Hello?

Danny

Danny.

Jordan

Danny who?

Danny

Danny Tripp!

Jordan

I know. I was just being dry. Why don't people ever get that?

Danny

Well, for one thing--

Jordan

And then I was being rhetorical!

Can I ask you something?

Yes.

Sometimes I hear people call another people "sir". There doesn't seem to be a pattern as to when and who, and I don't wanna be impolite, but I don't wanna look like an idiot either, so... who gets called "sir"?

I'm working on a sketch right now.

OK.

There are no rules to it. It'll come naturally, like calling a conductor "maestro" when he is in the vicinity of the podium. You know, we get to Friday night, the more we hear Matt and Danny called "sir". Cal, too, department heads, anybody who deserves it. It's not a big deal.

Ok. [pause] Is this is a "white people" thing or what?

I'm not white, Darius, I'm English.

[laughs] Put that line in the damn sketch.

Harriet

Shut up, you live off Mulholland, there are other streets in the country where marriage is still important.

Matt

It's important off of Mulholland too, but let me ask you something how is my marriage, your marriage, or anyone else's marriage even marginally affected by the gay couple two doors down from them also getting married, and if it does, how is that their problem?

Harriet

[to Matt] You know what? When George Michael does some guy in a bathroom, or Woody Allen marries his daughter, or a child molester gets an Oscar nomination, it doesn't really give Hollywood a lot of moral authority on sexual behavior.