Steve quotes from Stranger Things

Steve

Always the babysitter. Always the goddamn babysitter!

[Mockingly] Aw, hey there, princess!

Uh oh, she looks upset.

Oh...!

Nancy

What is wrong with you?!

Steve

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? I was worried about you. Can you believe I was actually worried about you? [Scoffs]

Nancy

What are you talking about?

I wouldn't lie, if I were you. You don't want to be known as the "lying slut", now, do you?

[Notices Jonathan and smiles] Speak of the devil. Hi.

Nancy

[Realizing what happened] You came by last night.

[Mockingly] Ding ding ding. Does she get a prize?

Nancy

Look, I don't know what you think you saw, but it wasn't like that.

Steve

What you just let him into your room to [pointedly] study?

Or for another pervy photo session.

Nancy

We were just-

Steve

You were just what? Finish that sentence. [Menacingly] Finish the sentence. [Nancy doesn't respond] Go to hell Nancy.

Steve

[Enraged] Carol, for once in your life, shut your damn mouth!

What?

Hey, what's your problem, man?

Steve

You're both assholes, that's my problem! [Gets up and shoves Tommy]

Are you serious right now, man?

Steve

Yeah, I'm serious! You shouldn't have done that!

Done what?

Steve

You know what!

You mean call her out for what she really is? Oh, that's funny, cause I don't remember you asking me to stop

Steve

I should have put that spray paint right down your throat.

What the hell, Steve?

Steve

You know, neither of you ever cared about her. You never even liked her. Because she's not miserable like you two! She actually cares about other people.

[Mockingly] The slut with a heart of gold!

Steve

I TOLD you to watch your mouth!

HEY!' [Shoves Steve into the car behind him] I don't know what's gotten into you man, but you don't talk to her that way!

Steve

[Shoves him back] Get out of my face!

[Aggressively grabs Steve by the collar and shoves him backwards again] Or what?! Or what?! You gonna fight me now too?! Huh?! You gonna fight me now too?! Because you couldn't take Jonathan Byers! [Whispers threateningly] So I wouldn't recommend that. Here, let me get the door for you, buddy. [Steve drives away] That's right. Run away, Stevie boy! Run away! Just like you always do. That Nancy's turning you into a little pussy! That's right, Harrington, run away! Run away! [scoffs]

Nancy

[Drunk] You wanted- you wanted this.

Steve

No I didn't want this, I told you to stop drinking-

Nancy

Bullshit!

Steve

No, it's not bullshit, okay?

Nancy

Bullshit!

Steve

No, it's not bullshit, Nancy.

Nancy

No YOU. You're... bullshit.

Steve

[Hurt] What?

Nancy

You're- you're pretending like- like everything's okay. Y'know like- like we didn't- like we didn't kill Barb! Like-like it's great. Like we're in love and we're partying. Yeah let's party. Let's party, we're partying. It's bullshit.

Steve

'Like' we're in love?

Nancy

It's bullshit.

Steve

[Heartbroken] You don't love me?

Nancy

It's bullshit.

Steve

What are you doing here?

Nancy

What do you think? Where were you this morning?! I missed first period!

Steve

I figured Jonathan would take you.

Nancy

What are you talking about?

Steve

Jesus, you really can't handle your alcohol. Uh... you remember going to Tina's party last night, right?

Nancy

Yes.

Steve

Okay, and then what?

Nancy

I... remember dancing, and... spilling some punch, you got mad at me because I was drunk and then you took me home.

Steve

No. Yeah, see, that's where your mind gets a little fuzzy. That was your other boyfriend, that was-- that was Jonathan.

Nancy

I don't understand.

Steve

It's pretty simple, Nancy; you were just telling it like it is.

Nancy

What?

Steve

Um... apparently, uh, we killed Barb, and, uh, I don't care, 'cause I'm "bullshit" and, and our whole relationship is "bullshit". And, uh, pretty much everything's just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Oh, yeah, also... you don't love me.

Nancy

I was drunk, Steve! I don't remember any of that!

Steve

So that makes everything you said just what, just bullshit too?!

Nancy

Yes!

Steve

Well then tell me!

Nancy

Tell you what?!

Steve

You love me!

Nancy

Really?

Harrington! Dude, we need you, man; that douchebag's killing us! Let's go!

Steve

All right!

Come on!

Steve

I think that you're bullshit.

Steve

Alright, so let me get this straight: you kept something that you knew was probably dangerous in order impress a girl? Who, you you just met?

Dustin

Alright, that's grossly oversimplifying things

Steve

I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug, anyway?

Dustin

An inter-dimensional slug?! Because it's awesome.

Steve

Well, even if she thought it was cool, which she didn't, I- I just... I don't know, I just feel like you're trying way too hard, man.

Dustin

Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, alright?!

Steve

It's not about the hair, man. The key with girls is just... acting like you don't care.

Dustin

Even if you do?

Steve

Yeah, exactly. Drives 'em nuts.

Dustin

Then what?

Steve

You just wait, until uh... until you feel it. [Elbows him]

Dustin

Feel what?

Steve

It's like before it's gonna storm, you know? You can't see it, but you can feel it, this, uh... electricity, you know?

Dustin

Oh, like in the electromagnetic field, with the clouds in the atmosphere-

Steve

No, no, no, no, no. Like a, like a sexual electricity.

Dustin

Oh.

Steve

You feel that, and then you make your move.

Dustin

So that's when you kiss her?

Steve

No, whoa, whoa! Slow down, Romeo.

Dustin

Sorry.

Steve

Sure, okay, some girls... yeah, they want you to be aggressive, you know? Strong, hot and heavy, like a... I don't know, like a lion. But others, you gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy. Like a... like a ninja.

Dustin

What type is Nancy?

Steve

[Shortly] Nancy's different. She's different than the other girls.

Dustin

Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess.

Steve

Yeah. Yeah, she is.

Dustin

But... this girl's special too, you know? It's just, like... something about her.

Steve

Whoa whoa whoa, hey. You're not falling in love with this girl, are you?

Dustin

No, no.

Steve

Okay, good. Don't.

Dustin

I won't.

Steve

She's only gonna break your heart, and you're way too young for that shit.

Mike

Did you guys know that Bob was the original founder of Hawkins AV Club?

Lucas

Really?

Mike

He petitioned the school to start it, and everything. And then he had a fund-raiser for equipment. Mr. Clarke learned everything from him. Pretty awesome, right?

Dustin

Yeah.

Mike

We can't let him die in vain.

Dustin

Well, what do you wanna do, Mike? Alright, the Chief's right on this; we can't stop those Demo-dogs on our own.

Max

"Demo-dogs?"

Dustin

Demogorgon, dogs. Demo-dogs. It's like a compound, it's like a play on words-

Max

Okay.

Dustin

I mean, when it was just Dart, maybe.

Lucas

But there's an army now.

Dustin

Precisely.

Mike

His army.

Steve

What do you mean?

Mike

[Holding up the drawing of the Shadow Monster] His army! Maybe if we stop him, we can stop his army too.

Robin

And another one bites the dust. You are 0 for 6 Popeye.

Steve

[Annoyed] Yeah, yeah I can count.

Robin

You know that means you suck.

Steve

Yep, I can read too.

Robin

Since when?

Steve

It's this stupid hat, I'm telling you. It's totally blowing my best feature.

Robin

Yeah, company policy is a real drag. You know, its a crazy idea, but have you considered... telling the truth?

Steve

Oh, you mean that I couldn't even get into tech and my douchebag dad is trying to teach me a lesson? I make three bucks an hour and I have no future, that truth?

Robin

[Pointing at customers walking over] Hey, twelve-o'clock.

Steve

Oh shit, oh shit, okay... I'm going in. Oh, and you know what? [Takes off hat] Screw company policy.

Robin

[Sarcastically] Oh my god, you're a whole new man.

Steve

Right? [Turns towards the customers, who yelp in surprise] Ahoy ladies! Didn't see you there. Would you guys like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me, I'll be your captain... I'm Steve Harrington.

Steve

I gotta keep in shape for the ladies.

Robin

Yeah, and how's that working out for you?

Steve

Ignore her.

Dustin

She seems cool.

Steve

She's not.

Dustin

[About a ventilation shaft] I'll fit. Trust me. No collar bones, remember?

Robin

Uh, excuse me?

Steve

Oh, he's, uh Yeah, he's got some disease. Chry, uh, It's chrydo, um... something. Yeah, I dunno. He's missing bones and stuff. He can bend like Gumbo.

Robin

You mean Gumby.

Steve

I'm pretty sure it's Gumbo.

Steve

So what do you think?

Robin

About?

Steve

This girl.

Robin

She sounds awesome.

Steve

She is awesome. And what about the guy?

Robin

I think he's on drugs, and he's not thinking straight.

Steve

Really? Cause I think he's thinking a lot more clearly than usual.

Robin

He's not. Look, he doesn't even know this girl. And if he did know her, like, really know her, I don't think he'd even wanna be her friend.

Steve

Robin, that's not true, no way is that true.

Robin

Listen to me, Steve. It shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you. But I am not like your other friends, and I am not like Nancy Wheeler.

Steve

Robin, that's exactly what I like about you.

Robin

Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?

Steve

Yeah.

Robin

It isn't because I had a crush on you. It's because she wouldn't stop staring at you.

Steve

Mrs. Click?

Robin

Tammy Thompson. I wanted her to look at me. But she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And-and you didn't even like her and I would go home and just scream into my pillow.

Steve

But Tammy Thompson's a girl.

Robin

[Softly] Steve.

Steve

Yeah? [He sees Robin's expression] Oh. Oh. Holy shit.

Robin

Yeah. Holy shit. [She looks down nervously as Steve processes the information] Steve, you OD over there?

Steve

Nah I'm just, I'm just thinking.

Robin

[quietly] Okay.

Steve

I mean, yeah. Tammy Thompson, y'know, she's cute and all but, I mean... she's a total dud.

Robin

She is not.

Steve

Yes she is. She wants to be like a singer, she wants to move to like, Nashville and shit.

Robin

She has dreams.

Steve

She can't even hold a tune. I mean, she's practically tone deaf, have you heard her? [Robin rolls her eyes, amused] All the time- [starts singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart”] you see me now tonight, you see me-

Robin

She does not sound like that.

Steve

She sounds exactly like that. That's a great impersonation of her.

Robin

No, she does not sound like that. You sound like a Muppet.

Steve

She sounds like a Muppet! She sounds like a Muppet giving birth! [Robin bursts out laughing; Steve starts singing like Kermit] And if you can hold me tight,

You'll be holding on, forever!

Steve

Exactly!

Robin

I know! [They both continue laughing uncontrollably]

Dustin

Okay, what the hell? [Steve and Robin look at each other and start laughing again]

Steve

And then there's Heidi tomorrow night, but the problem with Heidi is that she's going out of state for college. So it's like, do I really want to start another relationship that has no point other than sex? I mean, I just- I don't know, does that make sense to you? [Turns to Robin who's putting on mascara in the seat next to him] Robin! Are you listening to me?

Robin

Um yes, I'm- I'm listening-

Steve

What did I just say? What did I just say to you?

Robin

You said something about sex with-with Linda.

Steve

NO! I'm talking about Heidi!

Robin

Cut me some slack, please! [Steve sighs] Your love life is one of labyrinthian complexity, and it is seven in the morning and we have to go to this stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse!

Steve

Oh, you're worried about a basketball pep rally, you expect me to believe that?

Robin

Yeah, so?

Steve

SO we both know what this is about, okay? I'm not buying that bullshit, this is about Vickie.

Robin

Absolutely not.

Steve

Yes it is! And you know what else I think?

Robin

Uh, I really don't care what you think-

Steve

I think you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when you're around her, okay? You just gotta be yourself.

Robin

You're literally quoting me to me, you do realize that?

Steve

Well, maybe you need to listen to yourself, you ever think about that, smarty-pants? I listened to you and now look at me. Boom, back in business.

Robin

It's not the same thing.

Steve

Well-

Robin

You ask out a girl and she says no; big deal, nothing happens. Maybe your ego's a little bruised, but I ask out the wrong girl, and bam, I'm a town pariah.

Steve

Yeah I'd buy that, except Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl.

Robin

We just don't know that, do we?

Steve

She returned "Fast Times" paused at fifty-three minutes, five seconds. Do you know who pauses "Fast Times" at fifty-three minutes, five seconds? People who like boobies, Robin! Boobies!

Robin

Ew, gross! Don't say "boobies!"

Steve

It's not a big deal, okay? I like boobies, you like boobies! Vickie likes boobies, definitely! [Robin shakes her head] It's boobies! [Shrugs. Robin rolls her eyes]

Dustin

Eddie! Eddie! It's me. It's Dustin. This is Steve. He's not gonna hurt you, right, Steve?

Steve

Right. Yeah.

Dustin

Steve, why don't you drop the oar?

Dustin

He's cool. He's cool.

Steve

[Choked] I'm cool, man. I'm cool.

Eddie

What are you doing here?

Dustin

We're looking for you.

Robin

We're here to help.

Dustin

Eddie, these are my friends. You know Robin, from band.

Dustin

This is my friend Max. The one who never wants to play D&D.

Dustin

Eddie, we're on your side. I swear on my mother. Right, guys?

Max

Yes. Yes, we swear.

Robin

On Dustin's mother.

Steve

Yeah, Dustin's... Dustin's mother.

Robin

I mean, it's just a clock. Right? Like a normal old clock.

Steve

Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks? Maybe he's, like, a clockmaker or something?

Dustin

[Sarcastically] I think you cracked the case, Steve.

Jonathan

Have you forgotten what he showed Nancy? Hawkins on fire. Karen, Holly, everyone -- dead!

Steve

Yeah, man, he also showed Max her brother walking around with a big hole in his chest. That's what he does; he gets in your head and he tries to scare you.

Nancy

Yeah, well he did a good job, because I am scared! And you should be scared too, because if he's still out there, he's planning to end our world, so...

Mike

...we don't stop looking, even if it takes a hundred more crawls -- a thousand! We don't stop until we're goddamn sure that wrinkled, rotting, noseless bastard is dead and gone and never coming back. [He holds out his hand.] Everyone in?

Dustin

I wanna see Vecna's heart on a platter. Just wish I could do it myself. For Eddie.

For Eddie!

Lucas

On three, "Kill Vecna". One, two, three...

Kill Vecna!