Mike quotes from Stranger Things

Mike

[Playing a Dungeons & Dragons] Something's coming. Something hungry for blood. A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness. It is almost here.

Mike

El? I don't know if you can hear this, but... but if you can, I want you to know I'm here, okay? I'm right here. And... I love you. El, do you hear me? I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it more. I... It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never. But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big, it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero. And... I can't lose you. Okay? Do you hear me? I can't lose you. You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that. I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? El. Do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight. Fight! FIGHT!

Dustin

Guys, I really think we should turn back.

Lucas

Seriously, Dustin?! You want to run to your mom, be a baby, then go home already!

Dustin

I'm just being realistic, Lucas!

Lucas

No, you're being a big sissy!

Dustin

Did you ever think maybe Will went missing because he ran into something bad? And we're going to the exact same spot where he was last seen? And we have no weapons or anything?

Mike

Dustin shut up...

Dustin

I'm just saying; does that seem smart to you?

Mike

Shut up, shut up... did you guys hear that?!

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Step right up and get your tickets for the freak show.

Who do you think would make more money in a freak show? Midnight, Frogface, or Toothless?

[Mimicking Dustin] I'd go with Toothless.

Dustin

I told you a million times my teeth are coming in. It's called cleidocranial dysplasia.

[Mimicking Dustin] I told you a million times.

[chuckles] Do the arm thing.

Do it, freak.

God, it gets me every time.

Lucas

Assholes.

Mike

I think it's cool. It's like you have superpowers or something. Like Mr. Fantastic.

Dustin

Yeah, except I can't fight evil with it.

[Holding Dustin at knife point] Jump. Or Toothless here gets an early trip to the dentist!

Dustin

No! N- [he stops talking as Troy holds the blade near his eyes]

I'll cut him, right now!

Mike

Alright, just hold on! Hold on!

Dustin

Mike, don't do it! I don't need my baby teeth- Mike! Mike, seriously, don't!

Dustin

Mike, don't do it! Don't do it, Mike!

Troy, I don't think this is a good idea, man.

Dustin

Mike, don't!

Dentist's office opens in Five! Four! Three! Two!

Dustin

MIKE!

One!

Holy shit.

Mike

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

'AH..! She broke my arm! My arm!

Eleven

[Coldly] Go.

Let's get outta here! Let's go!

Dustin

[Gleefully] YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU BETTER RUN! SHE'S OUR FRIEND AND SHE'S CRAZY! YOU COME BACK HERE, AND SHE'LL KILL YOU!

Mike

El?

Eleven

[Crying] Mike... I'm sorry.

Mike

Sorry? What are you sorry for?

Eleven

The Gate... I opened it. I'm the monster.

Mike

[Smiles] No El, you're not the monster. You saved me, do you understand? You saved me.

Mike

Just hold on a little longer, okay? He's gone, the Bad Man's gone. We'll be home soon, and my mom? She'll get you your own bed, and you can eat as many Eggos as you want. And... we can go to the Snow Ball.

Eleven

[Weakened] Promise?

Mike

Promise.

Dustin

Is it... is it dead?

Mike

Go, go go go go!!

Dustin

Get the wrist rocket, get the wrist rocket, now!!

Mike

Go go go go go! Get the rocks, get the rocks, get the rocks!

Dustin

Getting the rocks!

Lucas

Gimme one!

Dustin

Come on! Fire!

Mike

Kill it, kill it!

Lucas

Another one!

Dustin

Kill the bastard! Kill it now!

Mike

Kill it! Go go go go go!

Dustin

Get, get, get- come on, kill it, bastard!

Lucas

It's not working!

Mike

Hit him again! Keep going, keep going!

Dustin

Kill him! Get, get, get... come on, go, go, go!

Mike

Eleven, stop!

Eleven

[Sadly] Goodbye, Mike. [She turns to the Demogorgon] No more. [Both the Demogorgon and El scream as she uses her powers to rip it apart; Lucas, Dustin and Mike cover their ears. When the lights return, El and the Demogorgon have vanished]

Mike

[Repeatedly] El...?!

Eleven!

Mike

[Tearful] El! El, where are you?! Eleven?! El?!

Lucas

You're just not nimble enough, but you'll get there someday. But until then... [chuckles] Princess Daphne is still mine!

Dustin

You know, whatever. I'm still tops on "Centipede" and "Dig Dug".

You sure about that?

Dustin

Sure about what? You're kidding me, nonononono. Move, move! [He checks the top scores on "Centipede" and "Dig Dug"] Aw, no no no no no... NO! No! No...!

Will

Seven hundred and fifty-one thousand, three hundred points?!

Mike

That's impossible!

Dustin

Who- who's "MADMAX?"

Better than you.

Will

Is it you?

[Scoffs] You know I despise "Dig Dug".

Lucas

Then who is it?

Dustin

Yeah, spill it, Keith.

You want information? Then I need something in return. [Grins at Mike]

Mike

No. No, no, no, no way! You're not getting a date with her!

Lucas

Mike, come on, just get him the date.

Mike

I'm not prostituting my sister!

Lucas

But it's for a good cause!

Dustin

No, no, don't get him the date. You know what? He's gonna spread his nasty-ass rash to your whole family!

Acne isn't a rash, and it isn't contagious, you prepubescent wastoid!

Billy

God, this place is such a shithole.

Max

It's not that bad.

Billy

No? [Buzzes down the window and holds his nose] Mmm, you smell that, Max? That's actually shit. Cow shit!

Max

I don't see any cows. [Buzzes the window up again]

Billy

Clearly, you haven't met the high school girls. So what, you like it here now?

Max

No!

Billy

Then why are you defending it?

Max

I'm not.

Billy

Sure sounds like it.

Max

It's just, we're stuck here, so...

Billy

Mm, you're right. We're stuck here. [Glares at her] And whose fault is that?

Max

[Under her breath] Yours.

Billy

What'd you say?

Max

Nothing.

Billy

Did you say it's my fault?

Max

No!

Billy

You know whose fault it is. Say it. [Pause] Maaax... say it. SAY IT!!!

Dustin

Really, everyone dressed up last year.

Max

Billy, slow down.

Billy

Oh, these your new ape-friends?

Max

No! No, I don't know them.

Billy

Oh, then I guess you won't care if I hit 'em then, huh? I get bonus points, I get 'em all in one go!

Max

No, Billy, stop, it's not funny.

Dustin

Uh, guys...!

Max

Billy, come on, stop! This isn't funny! Stop!

Mike

Go, go, go, go!

Max

BILLY, STOP IT!

Dustin

Oh, shit shit shit shit shit...!

Billy

[Laughs maniacally] WHOOO! That was a close one, huh?!

Dustin

Was that...

Lucas

Madmax!

Will

[Discussing his visions] It's like... like, I'm stuck.

Mike

Stuck in the Upside Down?

Will

Well, you know how in a ViewMaster, when it gets, like...

Mike

Caught between two slides?

Will

Yeah, yeah, like that. Like, like one slide's our world, and... and the other... the other slide is the Upside Down. And... and there was this noise. Coming from everywhere. And... I saw something.

Mike

The Demogorgon?

Will

[Shakes his head] No. It was like... this huge shadow, in the sky. Only... it was alive... and it was coming for me.

Mike

Is this all real? Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?

Will

I don't know. Just... just please don't tell the others, okay? They won't understand.

Mike

Eleven would.

Will

She would?

Mike

[Smiles] Yeah. She always did. Sometimes, I feel like... I still see her. Like she's still around... but she never is. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.

Will

Me, too.

Mike

Hey, if we're both going crazy, we'll go crazy together, right?

Will

[Smiles] Yeah. Crazy together.

Mike

It's Day 353. I had a bad day today. I dunno, I... guess I wish you were here. I mean, we all do. If you're out there, just... please, gimme a sign.

Eleven

Mike?

Mike

Eleven?

Dustin

His name is D'Artagnan. pPicks it up] Cute, right?

Mike

"D'Artagnan?"

Dustin

Dart, for short.

Max

And he was in your trash?

Dustin

Foraging for food. You wanna hold him?

Max

No, no.

Dustin

He doesn't bite.

Max

I don't want to. [Dustin drops Dart into her hands] Oh, God, he's slimy!

Lucas

Ugh, he's like a living booger! [Passes Dart to Will]

Will

Oh, God, ugh! [Passes Dart to Mike, who stares at it]

Mike

What is he?

Dustin

[Grins] My question exactly. At first, I thought it was some type of pollywog.

Max

"Pollywog?"

Dustin

It's another word for tadpole. Tadpole is the larval stage of a toad.

Max

I-I know what a tadpole is.

Dustin

Alright, then you know that most tadpoles are aquatic, right? Well, Dart, he isn't, he doesn't need water.

Lucas

Yeah, but aren't there non-aquatic pollywogs?

Dustin

Terrestrial pollywogs? Yep, two to be exact. Indirana Semiplamata and the Adenomera Andreae. One's from India, one's from South America. So how did one end up in my trash?

Max

Maybe some scientists brought it here, and it escaped?

Mike

Did you guys see that? It looks like something is... moving inside it.

Dustin

Whoa. [He grabs Dart as it tries to escape] It's okay, it's okay, I got you, little guy. I know you don't like that, it's okay. [Looks up] And there's another thing. Reptiles, they're cold-blooded. Ectothermic, right? They love heat, the sun. Dart hates it, it hurts him.

Lucas

So, if he's not a pollywog, or a reptile...

Dustin

Then I've discovered a new species.

Max

Why do you hate me so much?

Mike

I don't hate you. How could I hate you, I don't even know you.

Max

Yeah but you don't want me in your party!

Mike

Correct!

Max

Why not?

Mike

[Turns to her] Because you're annoying! Also we don't need another party member. I'm our paladin, Will's our cleric, Dustin is our bard, Lucas is our ranger, and El's our mage!

Max

El? Who's El?

Mike

Someone... no-one.

Max

Someone or no-one?

Mike

She was in our party a long time ago. She moved away, okay? [Starts walking away]

Max

She was a mage? [Skateboards over to him] So what could she do, like magic tricks or something? Well, I could be your zoomer.

Mike

That's not even a real thing!

Max

It could be. [Skates around him in a circle] See? Zoomer.

Mike

[Deadpan] Mind blowing.

Max

Oh come on, you know you're impressed.

Mike

[To Max] Jesus! Are you alright?

Max

Yeah, I think so. [Mike helps her up, and Eleven's lip trembles]

Mike

What happened?

Max

I don't know, it was just like a magnet or something pulling on my board. I know that sounds crazy.

Bob

[Startled] ...Huh. Hmm. [To Will] You drew all these, yourself...? [Will and Joyce both nod] Why, exactly?

Joyce

I, I told you the rules. No questions, okay? [Bob nods] We, we just... need you to help us figure out what- Bob? Bob! Over here! [Bob, Will and Mike follow her to a drawing showing an intersection, which she draws an X on] Where... where this is.

Mike

That's the objective. Find the X.

Bob

Yeah? What's at the X? Pirate treasure? [Chuckles]

Joyce

[Gives him a look] Bob? No questions.

Bob

Okay. [Pause] Lemme talk to you for just a second. Hang on, guys. [He takes her aside] Joyce, you can talk to me. You know that, right?

Joyce

...Yeah. What's the problem, exactly?

Bob

What's the problem? Joyce... Will doesn't look well. You don't look well. What's going on?

Joyce

Nothing! Nothing-

Bob

Is this an episode? Is this one of Will's episodes?

Joyce

No! [Scoffs] No, no...

Bob

I'm sorry. I just, I don't... see how any of this is good for Will, or for you. And even if I wanted to play along, I mean, how could I figure anything out if I don't understand the context of the game? Or... [he notices some of the pictures]

Joyce

What? What is it?

Bob

I know that shape. It's Lover's Lake. it's Lover's Lake! I get it. [Turns to another set of pictures] Okay, I get it! That's Lake Jordan. [Moves through the house, Joyce follows as Will and Mike watch] And, if that's Lake Jordan, then you can probably find... [snaps his fingers] Yeah! That's, uh Sattler's Quarry, and then, if you just follow it naturally...it moves to... the Eno River. And there it is! That's the Eno, do you see it? [Joyce frowns] Okay, so the lines aren't roads. But they act like roads. And they act like roads 'cause when you follow 'em, you'll see... they don't go over water. And that's the giveaway. That's the giveaway! [Claps his hands] Ha! Don't you get it? It's not a puzzle. It's a map. It's a map of Hawkins!

Sam Owens

[Indicating a map] This is us, and this is the nearest exit. But even if we somehow make it there, there's no way out.

What do you mean?

Sam Owens

The locks are fail secure.

Joyce

"Fail secure?"

Sam Owens

If there's a power outage, the building goes on full lockdown.

Bob

Can it be unlocked remotely?

Sam Owens

With a computer, sure, but somebody's gotta re-set the breakers.

Where are the breakers?

Sam Owens

Breakers are in the basement, three floors down.

Bob

Hey, where are you going?

To reset the breakers.

Bob

Okay, then what?

Then we get the Hell out of here.

Bob

No, then the power comes back on. If you wanna unlock the doors, you have to completely reboot the computer system, and then override the security codes with a manual input.

Fine, how do I do that?

Bob

You can't! Not unless you know BASIC.

I don't know what that means.

Mike

It's a computer-program language.

Alright, teach it to me.

Bob

[Sarcastically] Shall I teach you French while I'm at it, Jim? How 'bout a little German? How 'bout you, Doc? You speak BASIC?

Sam Owens

No.

Bob

Okay... I got this. I got this.

Joyce

No, Bob.

Bob

It's okay. [Hugs her] It's gonna be okay. Remember: Bob Newby, superhero.