Static Shock quotes

Don't move! Anybody!

A slingshot and a ping-pong ball? What's that gonna do?

That 'ping-pong ball' packs enough energy to take out the entire block. Trust me. I created it.

You know, you need a new hobby!

The house specialty, the abandoned burrito of solitude. One bite, and you'll need to be alone!

She-Bang

(sighs) No, thanks.

She must really be down, I'm using my best jokes!

Maybe that's what's depressin' her.

Let her go!

Darling we’re so sorry, we...

She-Bang

'Sorry’ doesn’t cut it! What are you doing back here? The Government shut this place down!

We needed a place to work.

She-Bang

Whats going on?

As you know, before you were... before you came along, we worked with Dr. Koenig here.

We were trying to find a way for living cells to absorb energy more efficiently, bypass the whole metabolic process. It was a dead end. We went on to another project

She-Bang

Me.

Yes. While Koenig continued his research.

He experimented on himself. You see the results.

I achieved my goal, I gained the ability to absorb mass from other objects; their atomic structure collapses, I become tougher. Unfortunately, I ended up with some unpleasent side-affects; I can’t stop the process.

Soon he won’t be able to move, he’ll become a living statue.

That’s why he stole those things, so we could build this chamber, and force the cure into his skin under pressure.

She-Bang

Why help him at all?

Simple self-interest. Show her. If your parents don’t cure me, I’ll push this button. Three minutes later, those collars will inject them with poison.

She-Bang

I can brake those in a second.

Ah, but if you even try, they’ll go off, and I’m the only one who knows the deactivation code.

She-Bang

Your sick!

Agreed. Now lets get to work.

(off screen) Flashback; The infamous Dakota Gang Riots, began with a freek power blackout on a hot summer's night.

(off screen) Then, roving gangs turned violent on the outskirts of our city. It was Dakota's darkest hour. But there were some rays of light, rescue workers who raced into danger to save innocent lives. Today, on the five-year anniversery of the riots, we're here to celebrate those heroes with the unvailing of a monument dedicated to their bravery. One of the tragedys that occured that night, was the death of Emergency Rescue Doctor, Jean Hawkins, victim of a stray gun shot. Joining us for this very special ceramony is Jean's family; her husband, Robert, and her two children, Sharon and Virgil.

(reading from a comicbook) ...This was the final showdown. Good vs. evil. Soul Power braced himself. Would his superpowers stand up to... the horrible hats of the Haberdasher. (Talking to his listeners) Uuh hah. Dig that, Soul Power's scared of hats.

Morris

Boy, don't be dissing Soul Power. Those hats are deadly.

Come on Mr. Grant, how dangerous can a hat be?

Oh leave the boy alone, Morris. And quit interrupting, I keep hoping maybe this time that arrogant Soul Power gets it in the chops.

Morris

(turns to Dennis) Dennis, I'm this close to giving you a knuckle sandwich. (Turns back to Virgil) Just keep reading, Sparky, and give it some 60's groove. You kids today have no sense of style. Why back in my day...

...Not again...

Morris

...Cars were faster, threads were finer, and the girls were foxy.

(exasperated at Morris' pre-occupation with the 60's) Ohh.

Morris

(lost in the past) Umm, umm.

That's it, (looks at watch,) lunch break.

Morris

Hey. You're not done with Soul Power.

Trust me, I'm done with Soul Power.

Sharon, You gotta let me go home, please.

Sharon

(exasperated with Virgil) What's wrong now?

It's Mr. Grant, he's making me crazy.

Sharon

Virgil, you said you'd come here to the retirement home to help me, now you wanna leave short-handed. What kind of help is that?!

But, I...

Sharon

This community service, Virgil, it's your duty as a citizen. Besides, you could learn a few things from the older generation. (walks away)

(calls after her) Like what? How to annoy people?!

(reporter on the TV) We interrupt the broadcast for a special report. A major crime is in progress at the Dakota Museum of Technology. It began just moments ago...

(quietly) Looks like it's time for my kind of community service.

Goodbye old folks, hello...

Morris

(opens the door to the roof) ...Static

(still without his mask on) Mr. Grant?!...

Ahh, well I guess you're wondering, 'what's with the costume,' well, I... umm...

Don't sweat it boy, I knew you were Static when I first met you

What... You did?

Morris

Yep, (moves his hand in front of and around Virgil/Static, causing electrical energy to become visible) I could feel the electrical field around you.

Whoa... How'd you do that?

Morris

Because I have a secret identity too. Here, this should help you recognize me. (puts on a mask)

(doesn't recognize him) You're...the Lone Ranger?!

Morris

No. It's me, Soul Power.

(disbelief) What?!.

And you're gonna take me with you to that museum.

Whoa man are you trippin'--why would I do a whack thing like that?!

Because if you don't, I'll tell all my friends I met a real superhero today; Virgil Hawkins.

Hey, how'd you get to be a superhero, anyway?

Soul Power

It all started in the early 60's; I was just a normal cat until I got in the way of some thugs who wanted to crash Hoover Dam, transformer blew, giving me the strength of 10 turbines. I fought all sorts of scum back in my day, but the worst of them all was my arch-enemy, Professor Menace.

(mockingly) Professor Menace? What, was the name 'Dr. Bad-Dude' already taken.

Soul Power

Laugh all you want kid, but Menace came this close to taking over the world. Back in 63, we had our last big battle; I had just about beat him when he suddenly stepped back, hit a switch and his whole lab exploded. I got out okay, but I never did find any trace of him.

A bad guy who wants to rule the world, ahh, that's original. Was he gonna do it all by himself or did he have help?

Soul Power

He used robots, exactly like the ones at the museum.

What?

Soul Power

That's why I had to come with you, those robots on TV once belonged to Professor Menace. (jumps onto the powerline cables) Ride on.

Hey, come back here. (flies after him)

After all these years, I can't believe it.

Soul Power

Believe it Phil, I'm back and I need your help, I want access to your satellites.

I'm sorry Soul Power, but I can't allow that unless your a government approved client.

Soul Power

Look, years ago, you were a young man who used to call me his idol, now your the powerful Mr. Rollins, head of this big defense satellite firm; don't tell me your too high-and-mighty to help out an old friend.

Times have changed Soul Power, everything these days is about security clearance. I can't do it.

Soul Power

Back in the 60's, I fought so that young men like you would have a chance to get to this position.

You also taught us never to brake rules, and I won't, not even for you. Besides, aren't you too old for this sort of thing.

Soul Power

Your never too old to fight for justice.

(quietly) Ohh... That's debatable.

Now what?

Soul Power

Back to the Power-Pad...

Soul Power

I need to tap into those top-secret satellites.

You stole his security card?!

Soul Power

You know how things cling to you have static electricity.

Ah. Right on.

(About Batman) He learnt science from noble laureates, martial arts from kung-fu masters and manners from a crocodile.

So he's a little harsh sometimes.

Sometimes?!

He's teaching you, making sure you would be ready for whatever. I think you're pretty lucky.

Batman's not gonna be happy when he hears how you've been treating his guest and you really don't want to see Batman unhappy.

First, we don't have guests here. And, second, I'm Batman.

And I'm Beyonce.

Well, whoever you are, you don't belong here.

And you're Bruce Wayne, aren't you? But you're so ...

Old? No big surprise, considering that you just hop-scotched forty years!